Girl and Friend

We've all known someone who has done something we've advised them not to. I'm a prime example. How of many of you told me to not see Kirk again? A lot of you. Did I listen? Not at all. I was too caught up in the mindset of "You don't know him! You don't really understand how he makes me feel! I do what I want and I'm going to make out with Kirk even though I'm fully aware of what a non-committal douche bag he is!" Smart decision, Leslie. Really smart. Not.

It drove you crazy to witness me acting like that, right? Well, sorry. My bad. Guess Kirk was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

I received an email this week that can be summed up like this:

This Girl and her Friend go way back to high school, they roomed together, they're best friends. Friend has a cycle: Narrow in on one guy, flirt it up, go on a date that, for her, make or break the "relationship." Girl says that Friend usually decides that she doesn't like the guy ("finds him disgusting") at this point and the "relationship" ends. Friend "doesn't know how to just date for fun."

What's the problem? Friend likes Home Teacher, HT likes friend. Friend and HT hold hands and cuddle after knowing each other for a week. Girl finds out that HT went out with another girl the week before and tried to do the same thing. Girl finds out HT does this again with another girl, but also makes out with her. HT has a bad reputation in the ward because he wants NCMOs left and right. Friend doesn't know about HT's douche baggery. Girl tries to tell Friend about it, especially because Friend thinks things with HT are escalating quickly (Well, he does just want to make out, so that makes sense...), but Friend won't listen to Girl because that's just what people do.

There you have it, a case that happens all the time. We've all been in the situation as Girl, where you worry about Friend's poor decisions and ridiculous dating habits. Something I've realized over time is that the best thing you can do for Friend is to be a friend. You can advise all you want, but chances are Friend isn't going to listen to you. What can you do to be a good friend? Listen. Advise when asked, express concern when Friend is going to do something ridiculously stupid (like make out with Kirk. Is Friend going to make out with Kirk when you know it's a bad idea? Stop her), and most importantly, be the person who is there when it doesn't work out.

When it comes to dating, girls tend to think they know everything because you don't understand how they feel and how he really is when it's just the two of them. Friend doesn't want to listen to Girl because Girl just doesn't know! It's hard being Girl and seeing Friend embrace impending heart ache. Be her friend. That's the best we can do.

Be a good friend to Friend!