Saturday, July 18, 2015

Mom's Advice

My mom always told me this, "Leslie, don't chase after him. If he wants you, he'll come get you." This is advice I've tried to live by, but it's really hard. We live in a society that's trying to alter the dating scene. My mother tried to encourage me to follow a traditional approach in dating, but everywhere I hear encouragement in being an aggressive girl who goes after what she wants. Kind of confusing, right? 

The confident 21st century woman in me wants to chase the guy and get what I want. Theoretically that sounds great. Go for it. But you know what? The feminine, soft, womanly side of me wants to be pursued. Like, damn it! I want a man who will chase me. I want the kind of man my mom told me about, the kind who comes after what he wants. Where are those guys? How do we get society to encourage men to be that kind of guy?

At the beginning of the month I went to a movie with Colton. We've been to a few movies over the last month together, since both of us are cinema fanatics. We don't really talk or anything, we just meet up at the theater, watch a movie, and go our separate ways. This wasn't anything different. Nothing really happened, we just saw a movie and then said goodbye. It was kind of nice. I feel like I am finally reaching a point where I know pining after Colton is pointless. The words my mom said rang in my head, "if he wants you, he'll come get you."

The following day Colton and I ended up going swimming, mostly because I didn't have anyone else to go with and I really needed a dip in a pool. When we said goodbye, something weird happened. We hugged. Colton and I had our first physical contact since the night we broke up. It may have just been falling back into familiarity, but he leaned down and kissed me. It was a perfect, albeit a bit confusing, moment. 

Later that night he texted me and told me he kissed me because he felt like doing it. Then we said goodnight and let it be. 

Maybe my mom was right. Maybe it really is best to let the guy chase after you. If he wants you, he'll come get you.

To be continued...

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Summer Lovin'

It's been just about two months since Colton and I broke up. I've been on several dates with two different guys. 

Guy 1: RM. Lives with his parents. Hilarious. Kind of goofy looking, but personality makes up for it. Really wants a relationship. Is a weird kisser. Doesn't know if he believes in the gospel anymore.

Guy 2: RM. Has a technical school degree and one year of college left. Super smart. Mega handsome. Slightly dull, but maybe that's just the surfer way he speaks, because he's good at carrying conversation and keeping things interesting. Does that make sense? Haven't kissed him. Super strong testimony.

Ugh. Why does this happen? The guy with the winning personality who puts me at ease has a super weak testimony? That's such a key element to what I want in a guy and I can't overlook it! 

I'm tired of dating. It can be fun, it can have its moments. I have enjoyed meeting these two guys, but I'm tired of playing games and finding men who don't have the qualities I'm looking for.

Colton had what I was looking for, except the confidence to be the man I want. It still smarts. No summer love for me.