I can't help falling

Here I am, nearly two weeks after texting Wade for the first time since the summer.  We've talked every single day since then, with the length of time continuing to get longer, and longer.  Last night we skyped for two hours and then texted for another two hours.  My sleeping habits have gone out the window, just in time for finals.

What does it even mean, though?  Here is a guy who lives hundreds of miles away from me, who has his own plan for his life and as of right now, it doesn't include me.  I've got my own plans, which will keep me here in Idaho for another year and a half at the very least.  I don't want to do long distance.  Even the thought of it makes me want to throw up and then curl up in a corner and cry.

I'm the kind of girl who wants to be held.  I want to hold hands and go places together and kiss him whenever I want.  I've done long distance before and it's so hard.  I don't want that with Wade.  If he and I were to date, I'd want to relocate, or bring him out to Idaho.  I'd want it to happen instantly, not sometime down the road.  I don't want to wait.  I'm ready for something real.

I'm ready to leave Tyson and fear behind.  I'm ready to fall in love.  Bring it, Wade.  Continue to make me fall. We can make this work.

A Man's Man

I borrowed this from Urban Dictionary to help you get the feel for what I'm trying to get at.

Who is the Man's Man? He's the real class act. He always shaves and wears clothes that fit. He's worldly, educated, and a gentleman. He thinks that buttoned shirts are not just for special occasions and that newspapers have more than one section. While he is polite, he is not a pushover. He will swear when he needs to, but will try to control his temper. He can handle his liquor and keeps himself in shape. Most importantly, he will admit his faults and errors, because that is what real men do.  For these reasons, women want him and men want to be him.


This is what I want (minus the drinking and swearing).  This is what I need.  I need a guy who is going to be a gentleman.  I need a guy who is going to be suave, but mysterious.  I need a guy who's going to crush spiders and change the oil.  I need a guy who's going to watch Saving Private Ryan but get a little misty eyed while doing so.  I need a guy who isn't afraid to be a man, but to balance that out with a softer side.  


Too many of the guys I know are too much of one extreme, either too feminine or too manly.  There's a balance that works and this is where you find the Man's Man.  He's the kind of guy who'll take me on a date dirt biking followed by a lovely dinner at his apartment that we cook together.  I need a guy who'll comfort me when I'm upset, but also someone who'll defend my honor at any cost.  Does that make sense?  


I really need a manly guy.  A manly guy I can hold a long conversation about nothing, or everything, with.  A manly guy who can take care of me and be humble enough to admit that sometimes he needs to be taken care of.