I had this blogpost all written and ready to go, but one wrong tap of a button on my smartphone and the whole thing was gone. Not a single word of the paragraphs and paragraphs I had written was saved. It was one of those dramatic moments when I looked at my phone and wanted to yell, "NOooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" then chuck it against the wall.
Do you know how long it takes to write a long blogpost, let alone one on a smartphone? Forever. That's how long.
Fear not, dear readers. I got my laptop fixed and we are back in business.
A few big things have happened.
One: I recently downsized my letter box and in the process I ended up tossing every letter Tyson ever wrote me. While I was gathering them all up, there was a slight pang of temptation to crack open those suckers and read them, but after glancing over just one of the letters, I decided I didn't really want to. In the trash with all of them. The funny thing is, after I dumped them in the garbage, I didn't even feel bad. There wasn't a hint of regret or desire to dig them out. There wasn't sadness or anything. I felt like I was just getting rid of old receipts or some other scratch paper that doesn't matter. I've come a long way. Tyson doesn't bother me anymore. Just a person of the past. Now he's just somebody that I used to know.
You're welcome for putting that song in your head. HA!
Two: Kirk. This is really why you're reading my blog. You want to know what happened with the guy who made me see fireworks. Well let me tell you, things are going well. For the first time in my college years I feel like I'm being treated with respect. I feel like he goes out of his way to be a gentleman and he doesn't mind it. His mother and father taught him well. I can't help but get all giddy when I see his name pop up on my phone, even a couple weeks into it.
It sounds so cheesy to be gushing so much about chivalrous behavior, but it's something I've been looking for. I think that when I was with guys like Tyson and even when I liked Isaac I had allowed my mother's constant, "Leslie, let him come to you. Let him show you that he wants you." go in one ear and out the other because I was so convinced that men are all pansies and if I were to listen to her I'd be doomed to live life forever alone. I had to be the go-getter because the guys were not go-getting me and I wanted someone RIGHT THEN. It took effort, but being a go-getter is exactly what I didn't do with Kirk. As hard as it was, I allowed him to step up to the plate and make the big moves (except for when I held his hand, but I think that's okay...)
Girls. It's paid off big. The difference in the guys who would make me come around and vie for their attention all the time were stupid boys. Kirk is a man, a man who knows how to be a gentleman. We should all want gentlemen, not boys. They're the ones who you see holding their love's hand at the park when their old. They're the ones who open the car door for their daughters and give up their seat on the bus for the elderly woman. These are the ones we should be holding out for.
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