What We Are Doing

Colton and I have been seeing each other for four weeks now. Four weeks and things are still just about where they were two weeks ago. 

Things got busy for a little while. Colton had some big things for work going on and I was down with a toothache. We saw each other just about once a week, one time on a date to the Sundance Film Festival, which was so much fun, and then again the next week in passing at ComicCon. 

I had a little bit of an unsettled moment this weekend, though. I realized that in all the time Colton and I have been spending talking and going on dates, we still haven't had a DTR. A couple weeks back we went on a walk one Sunday afternoon and we talked a little bit about going slowly and taking time to get to know each other, but he never said exactly how he feels or what he's looking for with me. Four weeks in and I'm getting curious. 

I let my curiosity get the better of me this weekend. I sent him a text pretty much telling him that I need to be on the same page with him, but I have no idea what page he's on with feelings and intentions. He apologized and said he'd call me after work. Great, a whole day to agonize over what he'd say. 

I theorized that Colton would tell me it's not really working and he isn't really interested. I convinced myself that he doesn't want a relationship. I convinced myself that it's over. I mean, of course there was a small part of me who hoped he would say all the right things and say he just wants to go slow.

You know what I didn't prepare myself for? Something in the middle. Colton confided in me a couple weeks ago that he has been married. He's been divorced for over a year, but he's  now extra picky and cautious. He said full disclosure, he's still going on dates with other girls, we aren't exclusive. I knew that. However, he said he's really enjoying spending time with me and he said he'd like to continue seeing each other the way we've been seeing each other. He said, "I really like spending time with you, so let's just take our time and see where this friendship goes."

He used the word "friendship." He made it clear that we're not a couple, not for now. I'm relieved and not relieved. I guess what I need to do is just sit tight and get to know him better. Isn't slow and steady what I wanted? 

This is how dating should be. We should be dating around and getting to know multiple people. Colton and I have cut back our physical relationship, which both of us have expressed gratefulness for, but we're still interested in each other. 

My friends, this is what casual dating is. So confusing, but hopefully worth it.