Six and a Half Weeks

Six and a half weeks. That's how long I've been seeing Colton. We've been seeing each other more consistently, yet we're still not exclusive. A few weeks back when we had our little DTR, I walked away feeling sort of settled, sort of not. I wasn't yet convinced that taking our time would be a good thing for us. I would feel those little feelings of desperation, so familiar to me, creeping up my throat, threatening to cling onto the words I'm about to say, threatening to turn me into the sad, clingy girl I used to be. Not today, old self, not today.

During our DTR talk Colton told me that he's not the type of guy who wants to be with someone every night. He explained to me that he sometimes really likes to have an evening to himself, so I shouldn't expect him to ask to see me every day. He said, "That doesn't mean I don't want to see you, though. That doesn't mean I'm not interested." I can totally sympathize with that. When I was dating Braden, he wanted to see me every single day. Sometimes it would get exhausting, always driving to Salt Lake to see him or making sure my apartment was presentable and that I had showered. I put off lots of errands, naps, and the like to spend time with Braden because I did what he wanted, even if I didn't really want to. So when Colton explained how he needs his alone time, I didn't question it. It's nice to have some time to myself while we continue down the road we're on.

In this past week, Colton has called me up several times to spontaneously get together. We've spent a record amount of nights together in one week, including a movie night with his friends. You guys, when a man invites you to something with him and his friends and he holds your hand in their presence, it means he really likes you. Like I said, we're still not exclusive but I think we're heading in that direction. I'm still in no rush. The crazy thing is it's been six and a half weeks and I'm content with where we are. Do you know how long my whole relationship with Braden was? Ten weeks. Ten whole weeks from start to finish. Holy crap. What a huge mistake that was.

But Colton? Things are good. Things are quiet. I'm so content.