Let's clarify this whole kissing vs making out thing I sort of alluded to in my last post.
KISSING
How do I define the simple act of kissing? It's when a boy and a girl kiss each other on the cheek, lips, or head for a brief amount of time. It is a demonstration of admiration and affection. Typically when you're sincerely interested in a person you end up spending a few moments here and there just kissing. This can happen when you greet each other, when you're at the store, out with friends, or on a date. You're not sucking face, you're merely showing the other person that you care for them.
Do I like kissing? I love it. When I share a real connection with a guy, the affection is important to me. When I took the love languages test, physical touch came in second, only to quality time (followed by 3 words of affirmation, 4 acts of service, and 5 receiving gifts). If a guy wants to be with me, he needs to be willing to share those precious little moments with me. Ideally he would want the same from me in return. Yeah, it got pretty obnoxious seeing couples on BYUI campus embracing each other and sharing a kiss before parting to their separate classes, but I think I was mostly jealous because I didn't have anyone to do that with. Kissing is romance. I like kissing.
Is kissing ever boring? Hells yeah! If a guy wants to make out, but all he's doing is giving you closed mouth kisses that last a few seconds? YAWN. I like kissing, I like affection, I like romance. But c'mon! When we're laying on the couch together, I want a lip smackin' mack sesh. None of that cutesy kissing stuff.
MAKING OUT
How do I define making out? This could become a pretty complicated answer, but I'm going to try and keep it concise and clear: Making out is when a boy and girl engage in lingering kissing, often laying down, -gasp- I know! That's so against the FTSOY! But guess what? I'm an adult, not a youth. I engage in passionate kissing with guys while laying down, with the lights off, without my roommates home. I'm so promiscuous.
What makes me an aggressive kisser? Honestly, I'm still a little confused on why James called me aggressive. I don't know what other girls do during making out, so I don't really have anything to compare my style of kissing to. Here's what I tend to do: I'm not a passive partner during a make out. I like to initiate deeper kisses every so often. Sometimes I'll run my tongue along his lip. I'll bite his lip or his ear lobe, I'll even occasionally move my tongue up his jaw line. I'm not the kind of girl to just kiss with my lips closed-I like tongue action! It's the strongest muscle of the body, so why not get a little exercise?
How do you make out and not go too far? Straight up determination. I know what I'll do, I know what I won't do, but the older I get, the harder it becomes to stop at the line I've told myself I won't cross. I'm a twenty four year old virgin. I'm a freaking unicorn! My secret? Clinging to my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is nothing more powerful than the knowledge I possess and that is what gives me the ability to engage in hot, heavy make outs with guys and still not cross that line. That is how to have fun, be a little promiscuous, and still maintain my temple covenants. It's possible, people.
Do I have a most memorable make out? Yes. Despite all the crap I put up with with Kirk, he was a dang good kisser. My top three make outs were all with him. One in the back of my car, one in the back of his, one in the basement of the house I lived in last summer. It was hot. Had we gotten married, we would have been having sex 24/7. Hot, steamy sex. There, I said it.
ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
Now I've dished my definitions and thoughts on kissing and making out, I want to hear yours. Take some of the questions I've answered and answer them in the comments! It's always nice to get a variety of opinions.
Of the above I agree on the kissing section completely. On the making out portion we differ slightly, my line is not drawn as far out as yours, not that its to far out, but I don't really get how someone could be to aggressive making out. One of the reasons why I don't make out with strangers is because kissing can be awkward. You got to get to know how a person does it. Since everybody has a different style you got to take it a little slowly in that area at first. So my guess is this James character just does not have any real style and likes it better when his women just kind of sit there and don't take control, which sounds lame to me.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so my life. It's good to know I'm not the only Mormon girl that finds making out a not-so-bad hobby. Just like you, I've always told myself that there is a certain line that I will never cross when with guys & it really does help the situation. I would answer all your questions, but my answers would just be yours.
ReplyDeleteOk, here's mine:
ReplyDeleteKissing: any contact involving lips. I usually refer to making out as "kissing" because kissing sounds classier. But making out is what I really mean.
Do I like kissing? Is it boring? Yes, and for me it really never gets boring. Unless it's just prolonged little kisses without making out. Then I get bored.
Making Out: Lingering kissing involving tongue. Pretty much always laying down.
Aggressive kissing: Still not sure what this really means. I don't think you sound like an aggressive kisser to me. Actually I think we'd get along pretty well... My first kiss could maybe be called aggressive. More on that below.
Staying safe: Honestly, the times that I thought I was close to crossing into the danger zone, I wasn't really that close. I've always had good luck with one of the two of us knowing when to stop way before things get remotely out of control. I've dated really GOOD people. But I also feel like I'm pretty naïve about what's too much. Sometimes I think my boundaries are way more strict that most people. But that being said, I have no problem whatsoever with prolonged kissing with tongue, laying down, with the lights off. And never ever around roommates. I've also been known to engage in lower back and side tickling, and have had that the reciprocated.
Memorable kiss: First kiss, it's what started my second real relationship. I had said I wasn't going to kiss someone before my mission, then I met her. Not her first kiss. Afterword she was impressed that it was my first. It's probably safe to say that she was the most "aggressive" girl I've ever kissed. If this is TMI, edit or delete my post, I don't want to offend anyone. But let's just say she became very, um, enthusiastic, and had to abruptly leave for a few minutes when we were done. Like I said, I was really naïve though, and I honestly didn't even think about it or realize what she was doing until I was talking about it with a companion on my mission.
Thanks for your detailed response! It's nice to hear the male perspective :)
DeleteYou're welcome. :) Just a thought, but you might get a few more responses on this if you allow anonymous comments for this one. I'd like to see what other girls think too.
DeleteThere's a reason I don't allow anonymous comments. I can't make exceptions!
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