I Cannot Be Beat

Most of you haven't agreed with how I've handled Kirk lately. I'm not doing this for you (clearly), I'm doing this for me. You know what else I've done for me? I've walked away.

At the beginning of the week Kirk told me he wanted to see me. He said, "I really want to go on a drive or a walk or something with you tomorrow. I want to see you." With something like that, I anticipated that yes, I would see him the next day. Unfortunately, homework had different plans for us. Kirk's phone died and he ended up staying on campus until nearly midnight doing homework. I stayed at home writing a paper that was due the next day. It all worked out.

But did it really? Kirk's phone died, but he didn't take the initiative to call or text when he got home to tell me sorry for bailing. He didn't try to reschedule.  For someone who has already had two chances, this is not the way to go about a third chance. I called him out on it the next morning and he apologized profusely. And that was it.

I haven't heard from Kirk since then. I'm okay with it. I'd rather him show his true colors at the beginning rather than string me along for weeks, making me think he was going to put forth the effort. I've had several experiences in the past few months that have strengthened my spirit and have helped me become more resilient. This isn't something that is going to destroy me. I'm not going to be sent into depression over Kirk again.

I haven't been beat. My ability to love and forgive and to give second and third chances is not a weakness. I don't regret giving him another chance. Nothing you can say is going to change that. Yes, Kirk has some serious flaws. It's too bad. We could have been great. I hope he can work them out and find someone to be happy with, it just won't be me.

Cheers to moving forward to a better tomorrow!

I didn't love this movie, but I like this quote