A continuation of Soul Mates and Fate

When I read back over my previous post about meant to be and the comment left by Roger, I realized that in my rush to finish the post before I had to leave home, I left out a whole section of analysis. 

Most often I hear meant to be, so it will work out used in a passive sense, i.e. "I don't have to really try because if it's meant to be, it's going to happen no matter what."  This is the attitude that frustrates me.  This is what is called destiny or fate: things that are meant to be no matter what you do. 

To me meant to be, so it will work out is an action phrase.  If you haven't read Roger's comment, he said something that was one of my original thoughts, I just got sidetracked and neglected to include it.  I like the way he phrased it when he said, "I have always thought that the phrase "if it's meant to be, it will happen" meant that if we do all we can do and have put ourselves out there with someone then it will work out if it's suppose to or in other words if the other person is interested."  Yes, Roger, it makes sense.  I might be stretching it a little, but it's kind of along the same lines as the grace of Christ.  We have to do our part for things to happen.  We're not meant to be a passive people, sitting back while we wait for life to happen to us.  In order for the things that are meant to be to happen, we really ought to be proactive about being involved in those things.  If we chose to sit on our butts and wait for Mr. Right to come into the picture, chances are he's not going to come.

Relationships don't just happen.  They require effort on both parts.  Take for instance, my relationship (or lack thereof) with Nate.  It's no secret that I'm really into him, he'd have to be oblivious to miss the signs.  I've done my part to engage in conversation, to invite him out to activities (but never on a date; that's the mans job), to be around him, and the flirt shamelessly with him.  Unfortunately I'm only part of the whole.  Nate has be absentee from my life for almost two whole weeks.  It's clear to me that the signs just aren't there.  It's because of his absence and lack of proactivity that I've decided to just back away.  It would be easy for me to say, "It simply wasn't meant to be," but in reality I don't think the possibility of he and I ever even crossed his mind, so meant to be was never even an option.

I don't want to waste my life waiting for someone to wake up and see that we're meant to be.  I'd rather be proactive on my own, flirting a ton, expressing interest, and moving on if nothing comes from it.  Destiny and fate have nothing to do with who I end with.