Leslie Responds to The LDS Dating Guru

It would appear that some of you men have your panties in a bunch (can I use that with men?) over the last post. Calm down. First of all, if you don't agree with it, then don't take his advice. Secondly, are you a woman? Do you have experience in attracting a man? Speaking as a woman with plenty of experience in attracting men and trying to figure out how to better do that, The Libertarian offered some good advice.

He told us gals to stop doing a few things in order to get a man.

1. "Stop being the girl that sits and says nothing during FHE"

What's so bad about this advice? All he's saying is to stop being a wallflower because being a wallflower won't get you anywhere. You want a man? You have to do something in order to be noticed and men won't notice a quiet wallflower.

2.  "Bring a platter of cookies over to his apartment"

Elder Oaks once said for young women to not do this. I don't want to toot my own horn or anything, but I admit that my cooking/baking skills are superior. I'm guilty of using this to my advantage, mentioning to guys what a phenomenal cook I am and conveniently having tons of baked goods at my apartment when guys come over. Don't get me wrong, I stick to Elder Oaks' advice in the sense that I don't let men take advantage of my willingness to cook and bake. I give them a taste of what I can do, but then make them work for more.

3. "Adding him on Facebook"

Not sure about this one. Too eager? Might come off as a stalker? I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but the hype about Facebook and being friends with everyone you know is kind of falling flat with me. I don't really care about Facebook any more.

4. "Asking him about where he went to high school"

Try college. Try asking current questions about his life. Asking about high school only works when you're in high school.

5. "Bearing your testimony"

Okay, I slightly agree and slightly disagree with this one. I think there is a time and a place for the bearing of testimonies. I find a man with a testimony to be highly attractive and would hope he thinks the same about mine. However, on most dates bearing your testimony isn't really the time or place unless the conversation leads you to such a moment, which is rare. Yes, testimonies are attractive. No, I don't think dates are appropriate places to bear them, nor do I think you should have to bear your testimony in order to attract a mate.

6. "Asking nonstop mission questions"

This kind of goes along with the high school one. There's more to a man than his mission, make an effort to get to know all about him. After a while that one topic gets boring. Missions are great, but there is more to life than missions.

Probably the biggest thing that was disagreed with in the Libertarian's post was his experience with girls with "extra pounds." It's no secret that men are visual creatures. It's no secret that, in general, skinnier, more fit girls get more guys. This is nothing new! Just like us girls drool over actors like Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, men would love the chance to walk into the room with a girl who clearly takes care of herself. Even I said that us ladies need to hit the gym and do something about our appearance to feel more confident. Looking good makes you feel good about yourself, which boosts your confidence, which makes you happier, which makes you more attractive to the opposite sex.

Besides, the Libertarian's final point about that girl was she was demanding, which is why he ended things with her, not because she was a little more full figured. See? Weight wasn't the deal breaker, personality  was. GOSH. Stop getting so worked up by the mention of weight. It's not the most important factor!

Anyway...He also offered a few tips on what to do in order to get a man.

1. "Smile"

Hmm...this sounds familiar. Pretty sure I told you ladies to smile not that long ago...

2. "Approach him"

The key part of this point is that the Libertarian didn't say "Go ask him out," he simply meant that it goes a long way when a girl has the courage and confidence to approach a guy first and strike up a conversation. It exhibits confidence and men like confidence.

3. "Compliment his clothes, ask if he works out, touch his arm, and tease him"

All of this can be summed up with this: Ladies, you need to flirt! If you want a guy to notice you, you have to make sure he notices you noticing him. Remember when I said you need to try your hand at some obvious flirting? This is the kind of thing I meant.

4. "Touch him, FLIRT it up!"

Hear that, girls? Flirting goes a long way. You've got to be obvious and confident. Have fun with it! Express interest. Keep him engaged with lively conversation. Touch him. Compliment him.

The Libertarian of Love knows what he's talking about, and I like to think I do, too.