Monday, June 4, 2012

The Physical Barrier

You probably know what I'm talking about when I say that there's a type of physical barrier that must be broken down between a girl and a guy before things can progress at all.

You like a guy, he shows signs of liking you but you're still not sure.  Should you touch his arm when you laugh at his jokes?  Are you at a hug goodbye level, or just a wave and, "See you later!" type of deal?  This type of thing drives me crazy.  I hate being at the point in a relationship (or friendship) where you're walking the line of physical contact.  Someone has to break down that initial barrier and from then on things can progress just fine.

I can't tell you how many awkward situations I've been in regarding physical contact.  Remember Frank from last year?  Frank came into my life when I was desperately lonely in the wake of Tyson breaking my heart.  I was still caught up in the girl-makes-the-moves deal, so during a movie night, I took his hand.  It was awkward.  He wasn't into me.  I felt weird afterwards.  That was the moment I decided I wasn't going to throw myself at a guy, he needed to man up and make the moves.

Since then, my love life has been bland and I've been waiting for a guy who'll step up to the plate.  I go out of my way at a movie night to make sure I'll sit next to whomever I fancy at the time, I'll do little things, like lean towards him instead of the other side.  But until that initial moment of intimate contact, whether it's a pat on the leg or burying your face on his shoulder, it's awkward.

Once that contact is made, however, it's a touching free for-all.  Suddenly it's not awkward to snuggle up to someone, it's normal to sit extremely close and touch him on the arm.  His touching your knee when he's teasing you is nice, not awkward.  Everything changes when that initial physical barrier is broken down.

As much as I hate being at that awkward point in a relationship, I'd much rather have the guy make the first move.  I don't think I'm really brave enough to do that any more.

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