You guys, I am so glad to have built such a fanbase. You're the reason I come back to writing, especially after busy months like the last few, when it would be easier to just stop writing altogether. With your help, I've had over 20,000 views since mid May. That's huge to me. Thanks for being so loyal and for encouraging me to continue writing.
Tonight is New Year's Eve and I'm planning on letting go of 2013 with a bang. My roommate and I have dressed up and we're just about to head out the door to hit up a big party in Utah county. We're going to dance and sing and probably kiss strangers at midnight. Friends, tonight is going to be one for the books.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
That Time I Disappeared
Do you know what it feels like to get up early, work a twelve hour day, go home and eat dinner, collapse in bed by 8pm, only to get up early the next morning to do it all over again? It's completely exhausting. But, gladly, those days are a thing of the past. With the holidays coming to a close, I'm finally returning to normal work hours and my life won't be a cycle of work-eat-bed-repeat. Feels a little bit like being released from prison...but the paychecks have been nice. I bet they don't get those in prison.
Anyway, I know you want to know about Alex and what's going on there. Well, let me tell you! Alex and I have been seeing each other almost exclusively for about a month. As you know, it started on Thanksgiving when we sat together outside of Best Buy. We've both been busy with work, but we've made some time to see each other on our days off. He lives in Salt Lake, so it makes seeing each other often a little difficult, especially because I work early in the morning and he works in the evening, usually past when I go to bed. But we've seen each other on our days off, which seem to conveniently be on the same days. Usually I drive out there and we watch a movie, go shopping, or go out to dinner. The night generally concludes back at his mom's house (Yeah, he still lives at home. Is that a bad sign?) with the two of us spooning on the couch...which leads to us making out. Alex has some big lips, which are really nice to kiss. His style is growing on me, too.
When Alex makes the trek down to Provo to see me, which has only been twice in the month we've been seeing each other, I make him dinner and plan an activity. First we made a gingerbread house together, the next time we put together a puzzle. Well, more like Alex watched football and put together a puzzle and swatted my hands away when I tried to help or change the channel to something more interesting.
I look back on the first post I wrote about Alex and I kind of miss the giddiness and excitement I felt when he and I first started seeing each other. He texts me "Good Morning" and sends me goofy snapchats, but other than that, I feel as though all he ever has to say is, "What are you up to?" I don't know how many times I can tell him I've just gotten off work, out of the shower, or cooked dinner. My day to day life has been really monotonous lately. Maybe it's time to start making conversations about something else? Like Christmas, maybe? Or New Year's? Hell, ask me what my favorite animal is, so long as we're not talking about what I'm doing right that second.
As you can guess, I've started to have my doubts about whether or not Alex is the one for me. I mean, if a man cannot keep my mind excited for the first month of dating, what's going to happen five months from now? A year? Five years? Yeah, not really looking so great.
About a week before Christmas, things kind of took a dive for the two of us. I was leaving town the Sunday before Christmas and we hadn't seen each other since the previous Sunday. I asked a couple times if we'd see each other before I left and he always assured me we would. But when it came down to the last two nights I was in town, he said he was too tired to come see me.
Me: What are your plans tonight?
Alex: Work
Me: And tomorrow night, too?
Alex: 11-8 both days
Me: So...do I have to wait until after Christmas to see you?
Alex: I don't know. I don't have a day off until Christmas.
Me: I leave of Sunday. It would be really nice if you drove down after work either tonight or tomorrow. Preferably tonight because I'm going to work on Sunday before my plane leaves, so I should go to bed early tomorrow night.
Alex: Maybe. I'm donating plasma so depends on how I'm feeling. When are you gonna come up again?
Me: I can't come up there every week unless you're coming here the same amount. I want to see you, but it feels like you're not even trying to see me.
Alex: I came down last Sunday.
Me: Yeah, you've been down to see me twice. How many times have I come up there to see you? Four. It has to go both ways. You have to make an effort.
Alex: It's difficult when I get off late and you live far. By the time I get there it'll be late and you often go to bed early. I can't help this schedule of mine. It's that time of year.
Me: 8 isn't late. You could be here by 9:30 and I'd stay up late, even if I have to be at work at 3:30am. If you want this to work, you've got to make an effort. I want to see you, but I don't want to be the only one trying.
Alex: You do realize it's Christmas and I'm a manager in a retail store so all my time is invested in work, so don't act like I'm not trying. At least you're at a job you love.
Me: I know you work hard and it's a crazy time of year for you. It's crazy for me, too. But just because I love my job doesn't mean I'm not exhausted after working 12 hours every day. All I'm asking is for you to invest a little time in me. If that's too much to ask, I want to know.
Alex: Right now it's hard
Me: I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you. You can make time for the gym and donating plasma, but not to come see me this weekend before I leave. I work a 12 hour shift and I'm willing to stay up late so I can spend time with you if you come to Provo, but it's too hard for you to do that.
Alex: I work out and donate plasma in the morning... when you're at work
Me: Then come see me at night. 8 isn't that late to be working.
Alex: Yeah
Me: Yeah what?
Alex: It's not that late.
Me: Okay, well now yo know what I want/need. Ball is in your court.
That was Friday night. He went home after work and didn't try to see me. Same story Saturday. By that point I had already decided that I was done trying to make anything work with him. It sounds harsh now that I look back on it, but the guy never even asked when I was coming back. He didn't say Merry Christmas to me. He didn't try to talk to me while I was gone. I wouldn't be so harsh on him if I hadn't already told him that the key things for me in a relationship are communication, conversation, and quality time.
When I first started seeing Alex, he told me all about how well he'd treat me. He said he'd bend over backwards for me and he'd shower me in surprises like flowers and little gifts and fun nights out. He said he knew I hadn't been treated well by men in the past and he was going to change that. He was supposed to set the bar for what a man should do to express interest, but he failed. I completely understand being busy, especially around the holidays. I work at a job that thrives on holiday sales, so all my time went to work, so I understand that he has been busy. However, this is the first month we've been dating. This is the honeymoon period of a relationship. We should be spending every waking moment with each other, sacrificing sleep and sanity in order to be with each other. I haven't felt that crazy desire to be around him all the time and, as is evident by his utter lack of trying, he hasn't either. I can't start a relationship with someone when we don't start off being stupid excited about each other.
Love should be mad, wild, and passionate. If it's lacking, I don't want it.
Cheers to 2014 being around the corner! New year, new adventures, new Leslie! I promise to write more. sorry!
Anyway, I know you want to know about Alex and what's going on there. Well, let me tell you! Alex and I have been seeing each other almost exclusively for about a month. As you know, it started on Thanksgiving when we sat together outside of Best Buy. We've both been busy with work, but we've made some time to see each other on our days off. He lives in Salt Lake, so it makes seeing each other often a little difficult, especially because I work early in the morning and he works in the evening, usually past when I go to bed. But we've seen each other on our days off, which seem to conveniently be on the same days. Usually I drive out there and we watch a movie, go shopping, or go out to dinner. The night generally concludes back at his mom's house (Yeah, he still lives at home. Is that a bad sign?) with the two of us spooning on the couch...which leads to us making out. Alex has some big lips, which are really nice to kiss. His style is growing on me, too.
When Alex makes the trek down to Provo to see me, which has only been twice in the month we've been seeing each other, I make him dinner and plan an activity. First we made a gingerbread house together, the next time we put together a puzzle. Well, more like Alex watched football and put together a puzzle and swatted my hands away when I tried to help or change the channel to something more interesting.
I look back on the first post I wrote about Alex and I kind of miss the giddiness and excitement I felt when he and I first started seeing each other. He texts me "Good Morning" and sends me goofy snapchats, but other than that, I feel as though all he ever has to say is, "What are you up to?" I don't know how many times I can tell him I've just gotten off work, out of the shower, or cooked dinner. My day to day life has been really monotonous lately. Maybe it's time to start making conversations about something else? Like Christmas, maybe? Or New Year's? Hell, ask me what my favorite animal is, so long as we're not talking about what I'm doing right that second.
As you can guess, I've started to have my doubts about whether or not Alex is the one for me. I mean, if a man cannot keep my mind excited for the first month of dating, what's going to happen five months from now? A year? Five years? Yeah, not really looking so great.
About a week before Christmas, things kind of took a dive for the two of us. I was leaving town the Sunday before Christmas and we hadn't seen each other since the previous Sunday. I asked a couple times if we'd see each other before I left and he always assured me we would. But when it came down to the last two nights I was in town, he said he was too tired to come see me.
Me: What are your plans tonight?
Alex: Work
Me: And tomorrow night, too?
Alex: 11-8 both days
Me: So...do I have to wait until after Christmas to see you?
Alex: I don't know. I don't have a day off until Christmas.
Me: I leave of Sunday. It would be really nice if you drove down after work either tonight or tomorrow. Preferably tonight because I'm going to work on Sunday before my plane leaves, so I should go to bed early tomorrow night.
Alex: Maybe. I'm donating plasma so depends on how I'm feeling. When are you gonna come up again?
Me: I can't come up there every week unless you're coming here the same amount. I want to see you, but it feels like you're not even trying to see me.
Alex: I came down last Sunday.
Me: Yeah, you've been down to see me twice. How many times have I come up there to see you? Four. It has to go both ways. You have to make an effort.
Alex: It's difficult when I get off late and you live far. By the time I get there it'll be late and you often go to bed early. I can't help this schedule of mine. It's that time of year.
Me: 8 isn't late. You could be here by 9:30 and I'd stay up late, even if I have to be at work at 3:30am. If you want this to work, you've got to make an effort. I want to see you, but I don't want to be the only one trying.
Alex: You do realize it's Christmas and I'm a manager in a retail store so all my time is invested in work, so don't act like I'm not trying. At least you're at a job you love.
Me: I know you work hard and it's a crazy time of year for you. It's crazy for me, too. But just because I love my job doesn't mean I'm not exhausted after working 12 hours every day. All I'm asking is for you to invest a little time in me. If that's too much to ask, I want to know.
Alex: Right now it's hard
Me: I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you. You can make time for the gym and donating plasma, but not to come see me this weekend before I leave. I work a 12 hour shift and I'm willing to stay up late so I can spend time with you if you come to Provo, but it's too hard for you to do that.
Alex: I work out and donate plasma in the morning... when you're at work
Me: Then come see me at night. 8 isn't that late to be working.
Alex: Yeah
Me: Yeah what?
Alex: It's not that late.
Me: Okay, well now yo know what I want/need. Ball is in your court.
That was Friday night. He went home after work and didn't try to see me. Same story Saturday. By that point I had already decided that I was done trying to make anything work with him. It sounds harsh now that I look back on it, but the guy never even asked when I was coming back. He didn't say Merry Christmas to me. He didn't try to talk to me while I was gone. I wouldn't be so harsh on him if I hadn't already told him that the key things for me in a relationship are communication, conversation, and quality time.
When I first started seeing Alex, he told me all about how well he'd treat me. He said he'd bend over backwards for me and he'd shower me in surprises like flowers and little gifts and fun nights out. He said he knew I hadn't been treated well by men in the past and he was going to change that. He was supposed to set the bar for what a man should do to express interest, but he failed. I completely understand being busy, especially around the holidays. I work at a job that thrives on holiday sales, so all my time went to work, so I understand that he has been busy. However, this is the first month we've been dating. This is the honeymoon period of a relationship. We should be spending every waking moment with each other, sacrificing sleep and sanity in order to be with each other. I haven't felt that crazy desire to be around him all the time and, as is evident by his utter lack of trying, he hasn't either. I can't start a relationship with someone when we don't start off being stupid excited about each other.
Love should be mad, wild, and passionate. If it's lacking, I don't want it.
Cheers to 2014 being around the corner! New year, new adventures, new Leslie! I promise to write more. sorry!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Ask and Ye Shall Receive
So get this: I ask the universe for a holiday romance and it seems I may have stumbled upon that.
It's been about two weeks since I started talking to Alex. Right off the bat, I knew that he was a different kind of guy because he was clever and funny. He was sincere in his interest in me and last week he invited me out to do some black Friday shopping with him. I almost didn't go because I was so tired from Thanksgiving preparations, but I told myself, "What the heck. Might as well go and make something exciting out of the holiday!" So I got in my car and drove out to meet him.
Alex was sitting at the front of the line outside of Best Buy (big deal, I know!) and he and I sat together, covered in blankets and talked about everything we could think of. It was cold as balls out there, so Alex tucked our feet under the blankets and draped my legs over his lap, holding my hands in his to keep them warm. He confided in me about his childhood and the things that had happened to him then, he told me about how he didn't go on a mission and why, and he told me I'm beautiful. "I have a good feeling about you," he told me before I left for home.
Here is a guy who texts me good morning, makes plans to see me and follows through, and compliments me on my cooking, attitude, and smile. Alex is pretty great. Not to mention that he's a personal trainer and has a killer bod...seriously, his muscles? So big. I always want to be touching his arms.
He texted me today and said, "I think we should go see the lights at temple square as a fancy date night!" Um, yes please! Christmas, winter, romance, the temple, pretty lights? I AM SO IN. Alex, you're a pretty awesome guy. Maybe he can restore my faith in men. After all these failed attempts at dating and the terrible relationship I had with Kirk (who, by the way, has been telling me for months that he lives in Salt Lake and he wants to see me...but it turns out he hasn't even graduated yet! He's still in rexburg. What kind of asshole treats someone like that? I can't believe him.), Alex is a huge breath of fresh air.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Limbo
Let me tell you about my life right now.
I've moved to Provo and I have my dream job. I work a ridiculous amount of hours, but I'm happy to do it. When I'm not working, I'm usually at my apartment reading, cleaning, or sleeping. Okay, I also watched How I Met Your Mother season eight in its entirety this past week... But that's what I've been doing. Doesn't sound like a lot, right? Well, working 9-10 hours a day adds up to a lot, trust me.
When I'm not working or at my apartment, I've gotten in the habit of going on dates with guys from dating websites. It feels weird having this be my primary source of flirting and meeting new people, but I have to admit that I'm becoming more and more converted to the convenience of online dating (though I'm not sure it would be as successful outside of Provo.) If nothing else, then I've found a way of engaging in conversation, albeit not always interesting, to fill some of my down time.
Last weekend I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to for months. We talked on and off most of that time, since things were good and then we got busy and then we'd talk again. SO we finally went on a date. He was a gentleman and opened the doors for me. However, this doesn't mean that the date was amazing. We talked the entire three hours we spent sitting in Zupas, but that doesn't mean it was a good date. Honestly, I was ready to go home after an hour and a half. This guy kept talking over me and he never seemed to respond to what I was saying with interest, but rather with another story about him. I get that he wants me to learn about him, but it's a two way street. If I open up and tell you something personal to me, don't just gloss right over it. It was a turn off. I don't really want to go on another date with someone who seems indifferent to my life, yet expresses interest in seeing me again.
Is that too harsh of a judgement to make for a first date? That was my problem with Landon as well. Am I being too picky? Don't I have the right to be picky? I mean, look at my track record. I haven't had the best taste in guys over the past couple years, so I think I need to spend a bit of time evaluating whether or not I could have a future with these guys I'm going on dates with.
I'm stuck in limbo. Can't the universe be nice and send me a holiday romance? I swear, Christmas season makes me feel so romantic. I want to go with a guy to see the lights at temple square and hold hands and kiss under the mistletoe.
Yikes, I need to get my head out of the clouds.
I've moved to Provo and I have my dream job. I work a ridiculous amount of hours, but I'm happy to do it. When I'm not working, I'm usually at my apartment reading, cleaning, or sleeping. Okay, I also watched How I Met Your Mother season eight in its entirety this past week... But that's what I've been doing. Doesn't sound like a lot, right? Well, working 9-10 hours a day adds up to a lot, trust me.
When I'm not working or at my apartment, I've gotten in the habit of going on dates with guys from dating websites. It feels weird having this be my primary source of flirting and meeting new people, but I have to admit that I'm becoming more and more converted to the convenience of online dating (though I'm not sure it would be as successful outside of Provo.) If nothing else, then I've found a way of engaging in conversation, albeit not always interesting, to fill some of my down time.
Last weekend I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to for months. We talked on and off most of that time, since things were good and then we got busy and then we'd talk again. SO we finally went on a date. He was a gentleman and opened the doors for me. However, this doesn't mean that the date was amazing. We talked the entire three hours we spent sitting in Zupas, but that doesn't mean it was a good date. Honestly, I was ready to go home after an hour and a half. This guy kept talking over me and he never seemed to respond to what I was saying with interest, but rather with another story about him. I get that he wants me to learn about him, but it's a two way street. If I open up and tell you something personal to me, don't just gloss right over it. It was a turn off. I don't really want to go on another date with someone who seems indifferent to my life, yet expresses interest in seeing me again.
Is that too harsh of a judgement to make for a first date? That was my problem with Landon as well. Am I being too picky? Don't I have the right to be picky? I mean, look at my track record. I haven't had the best taste in guys over the past couple years, so I think I need to spend a bit of time evaluating whether or not I could have a future with these guys I'm going on dates with.
I'm stuck in limbo. Can't the universe be nice and send me a holiday romance? I swear, Christmas season makes me feel so romantic. I want to go with a guy to see the lights at temple square and hold hands and kiss under the mistletoe.
Yikes, I need to get my head out of the clouds.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Same Ol' Story
I've been slacking off on blogging and here's why: I feel like I've been having the same experience with guys over and over. It starts out with us hitting it off really well, going on a couple dates, kissing, and then it all dissolves. Take Milo, for example. He asked me out and we decided to go on a walk for our first date. It was that night a couple weeks ago that was super windy, but strangely warm.
It was a gorgeous night and the leaves were falling...Milo twirled me around and then held my hand as we walked around. Seriously, it was a great date, albeit simple. He was funny and we had a good time talking. The very next day he asked me to go out to dinner with him. We went to dinner and then went on a walk, during which he ended up kissing me. He wasn't a great kisser, but that was probably because he wasn't very experienced.
Sounds great, right? Yeah, it started out great, but a week after we first went on a date Milo ended up telling me that he couldn't date me because he has some family things going on and he wants to spend some time in November focusing on bettering himself. He told me again and again that it wasn't me, it was him. But then he started lecturing me on how to get a guy to respect me. Which, Milo says, will only happen if I say no when a guy tries to kiss me. "I know that makes me a douchebag, because I kissed you on the second date, but I guess I'm a douchebag." Yeah, he said that to me. I was pissed. You don't ask me out on several dates, share romantic moments with me, then kiss me in a perfect moment on a bridge on a beautiful Autumn night, only to basically tell me that I'm too easy and no guy will respect me. I think that goes beyond douchebaggery. No, then you're just being an asshole. Even if you wanted to date me, Milo, you aren't man enough for me. Ciao, sucker!
Soooo yeah. That's kind of been my dating life as of late. In other words, very unsuccessful.
I apologize for slacking. I'm going to see what I can do about writing something NOT about my failing dating life. Ya'll are great!
It was a gorgeous night and the leaves were falling...Milo twirled me around and then held my hand as we walked around. Seriously, it was a great date, albeit simple. He was funny and we had a good time talking. The very next day he asked me to go out to dinner with him. We went to dinner and then went on a walk, during which he ended up kissing me. He wasn't a great kisser, but that was probably because he wasn't very experienced.
Sounds great, right? Yeah, it started out great, but a week after we first went on a date Milo ended up telling me that he couldn't date me because he has some family things going on and he wants to spend some time in November focusing on bettering himself. He told me again and again that it wasn't me, it was him. But then he started lecturing me on how to get a guy to respect me. Which, Milo says, will only happen if I say no when a guy tries to kiss me. "I know that makes me a douchebag, because I kissed you on the second date, but I guess I'm a douchebag." Yeah, he said that to me. I was pissed. You don't ask me out on several dates, share romantic moments with me, then kiss me in a perfect moment on a bridge on a beautiful Autumn night, only to basically tell me that I'm too easy and no guy will respect me. I think that goes beyond douchebaggery. No, then you're just being an asshole. Even if you wanted to date me, Milo, you aren't man enough for me. Ciao, sucker!
Soooo yeah. That's kind of been my dating life as of late. In other words, very unsuccessful.
I apologize for slacking. I'm going to see what I can do about writing something NOT about my failing dating life. Ya'll are great!
Monday, October 28, 2013
Ten Days Later
I'm beginning to think that Provo has been a bad influence on my dating habits. True, I've been on a lot of dates in my time here and the guys here are much more willing to ask a lady out than the guys in Rexburg, but there are also a lot of them that want to just make out. Part of me hates it, part of me loves it. I kind of really enjoy kissing. However, there is a part of me that is wondering when this streak of one or two time Joes is going to end.
So what happened to Dean? We talked. He said he's not looking to date and he knows I am and he doesn't want to get in the way of that. He said he's got a lot on his plate right now and "it wouldn't be fair for you to not have the attention that you would deserve from me if we dated." And that is that. We still talk and flirt. I wouldn't be opposed to spending time with him, but we haven't seen each other. Dean is a good guy, but we just weren't meant to be. Bummer.
But you know what? I'm done being the girl who wallows in sadness and pines over the guy who didn't want a relationship. You don't want to date me? That's okay. We had fun. Time to move on!
So, only ten days after my tryst (if it can even be called that), I've found myself riding on the coat talks of a very eventful weekend.
Friday night I grabbed my roommate and went on a double date with a couple guys from Tinder. Yeah, yeah, Tinder is a wasteland of very thirsty people. But we felt bold, so we went and had a good time. I've haven't been to an arcade since my grade school friend Princess (yes, that was her given name) had her fourteenth birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. It was so fun! There's something really satisfying about getting tickets to come out of a machine by the tens. My date was an interesting guy. He definitely wasn't my type, but we had fun anyway. After we spent all our nickles, all four of us spent our tickets on dart guns and then had an all out war in the parking lot. Sometimes it feels really good to act like a total kid. Twenty four? Me? Naaahhhh ;)
Now, I'd continue the epic tales of my weekend, but I'm having some serious trouble staying awake right now. Apparently that's what working for ten hours will do to you.
Tomorrow you get to be introduced to Milo. :)
So what happened to Dean? We talked. He said he's not looking to date and he knows I am and he doesn't want to get in the way of that. He said he's got a lot on his plate right now and "it wouldn't be fair for you to not have the attention that you would deserve from me if we dated." And that is that. We still talk and flirt. I wouldn't be opposed to spending time with him, but we haven't seen each other. Dean is a good guy, but we just weren't meant to be. Bummer.
But you know what? I'm done being the girl who wallows in sadness and pines over the guy who didn't want a relationship. You don't want to date me? That's okay. We had fun. Time to move on!
So, only ten days after my tryst (if it can even be called that), I've found myself riding on the coat talks of a very eventful weekend.
Friday night I grabbed my roommate and went on a double date with a couple guys from Tinder. Yeah, yeah, Tinder is a wasteland of very thirsty people. But we felt bold, so we went and had a good time. I've haven't been to an arcade since my grade school friend Princess (yes, that was her given name) had her fourteenth birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. It was so fun! There's something really satisfying about getting tickets to come out of a machine by the tens. My date was an interesting guy. He definitely wasn't my type, but we had fun anyway. After we spent all our nickles, all four of us spent our tickets on dart guns and then had an all out war in the parking lot. Sometimes it feels really good to act like a total kid. Twenty four? Me? Naaahhhh ;)
Now, I'd continue the epic tales of my weekend, but I'm having some serious trouble staying awake right now. Apparently that's what working for ten hours will do to you.
Tomorrow you get to be introduced to Milo. :)
Friday, October 18, 2013
Fingertips
There came a point in the conversation with Dean when we both kind of realized that we were going to kiss. I teased him about setting the kissing standard pretty high, which he expressed some regret over because he didn't want to make my expectations too high because he didn't want me to be let down. Friends, you can only be let down when it comes to kissing if you're kissing. Well, I suppose you can let down by not kissing at all....but we're talking skill level. You can't be disappointed about skill level if you don't get to test it out.
When I realized that Dean and I would probably kiss, I felt really nervous. Nervous, but also excited. Dean is really interesting. He's quiet and pretty reserved. It intrigues me. I want to know more about him. I want to be curl up on the couch and watch movies and then tell each other secrets while the credits roll.
He came over one night last week in order to share his big, cozy blanket with me. We picked a movie and started it. He said, "Don't turn it up too loud, because I want to be able to talk to you." and my heart flip flopped. He and I cuddled up on the couch and he put his arm around me. It was really nice. There's just something really exciting about cuddling up with someone for the first time. You get to break down barriers and feel each others' skin. You get to allow your fingertips to trace theirs and feel the back of their hand. It was a little bit exhilarating to feel Dean's fingers brushing over the skin on my cheek, and then slowly down my arms.
Our heads were pressed close. We were both tilting towards each other and then we kissed. I was caught up in this perfect moment between him and me. Even though the bar was set pretty high for him, Dean didn't disappoint. When two people kiss and you're able to read each other's movements, it's really enjoyable. I haven't experienced that in a while. He and I just worked together. It was a really good make out. You want to know something about quiet boys? They're the aggressive kissers. I dig it.
So Dean and I kissed pretty quick. It's given us a bit of pause and something to think about. However, I like him. I'm not ready to give up on the possibility of something just yet. I don't know what will happen. He's pretty closed off. I hope I can break him out of his shell and really get him to tell me what he's thinking and feeling, rather than just getting vague answers. I don't want to waste my time, but I don't want to give up.
I'm starting to think that I really suck at this whole dating thing.
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