Limbo

Let me tell you about my life right now.

I've moved to Provo and I have my dream job. I work a ridiculous amount of hours, but I'm happy to do it. When I'm not working, I'm usually at my apartment reading, cleaning, or sleeping. Okay, I also watched How I Met Your Mother season eight in its entirety this past week... But that's what I've been doing. Doesn't sound like a lot, right? Well, working 9-10 hours a day adds up to a lot, trust me.

When I'm not working or at my apartment, I've gotten in the habit of going on dates with guys from dating websites. It feels weird having this be my primary source of flirting and meeting new people, but I have to admit that I'm becoming more and more converted to the convenience of online dating (though I'm not sure it would be as successful outside of Provo.) If nothing else, then I've found a way of engaging in conversation, albeit not always interesting, to fill some of my down time.

Last weekend I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to for months. We talked on and off most of that time, since things were good and then we got busy and then we'd talk again. SO we finally went on a date. He was a gentleman and opened the doors for me. However, this doesn't mean that the date was amazing. We talked the entire three hours we spent sitting in Zupas, but that doesn't mean it was a good date. Honestly, I was ready to go home after an hour and a half. This guy kept talking over me and he never seemed to respond to what I was saying with interest, but rather with another story about him. I get that he wants me to learn about him, but it's a two way street. If I open up and tell you something personal to me, don't just gloss right over it. It was a turn off. I don't really want to go on another date with someone who seems indifferent to my life, yet expresses interest in seeing me again.

Is that too harsh of a judgement to make for a first date? That was my problem with Landon as well. Am I being too picky? Don't I have the right to be picky? I mean, look at my track record. I haven't had the best taste in guys over the past couple years, so I think I need to spend a bit of time evaluating whether or not I could have a future with these guys I'm going on dates with.

I'm stuck in limbo. Can't the universe be nice and send me a holiday romance? I swear, Christmas season makes me feel so romantic. I want to go with a guy to see the lights at temple square and hold hands and kiss under the mistletoe.

Yikes, I need to get my head out of the clouds.