A Whole Effing Warehouse

I don't know about you, but there are only so many bad relationships that I can take before I stop looking for my happy ending. To say I'm a little jaded is an understatement. These past couple weeks I've had some in depth conversations with friends and family about my relationship with Braden. I look back on the relationship, which was very much a whirlwind and all happened so fast, and I realize that I was blind to so many things.

Braden had a lot of issues. Like, shelves of issues of National Geographic reaching back years and years. A hoarder of issues, you could say. Except instead of being the kind of hoarder who keeps their house filled with things, he is the type who rents a storage unit to fill with issues so no one knows how bad it really is. I never saw the storage unit, I only heard mention of it. It wasn't until I was months out of the relationship that I could clearly see that the storage unit wasn't just a unit, but an entire effing warehouse. A WAREHOUSE OF ISSUES! 

I can't believe I was so blind. It makes me sick to think that I thought I loved someone that manipulative and secretive. So how do I go forward with Colton when I know what people are capable of hiding? How do I build trust in someone? I don't know yet. 

For now I keep telling myself that slow is the key. Yes, I've already kissed Colton. Yes, I get all sappy and doe eyed when someone mentions him, but that doesn't mean I'm in love or ready to be in a relationship. I'm infatuated and that's okay. I'm two weeks into this thing with Colton and already I can see that I'm handling it differently than I did with Braden. 

I want to be able to trust someone and let them in. I want to be able to fall in love and not be terrified of having my heart destroyed. I would like to believe that happily ever after does exist, but it's really hard to see it right now. I've got my fingers crossed that Colton and I are able to continue at the pace we're going. No pressure to be something defined right away, no pressure to be each other's soulmate. 

Aren't things supposed to happen naturally?