Oh geeze

Last night I was super bored and a little down about Isaac and his new squeeze.  I texted Wade for the first time since August with a casual, "It's been awhile, how's it hangin'?" type text.  Now we have a skype date this weekend.  I have to admit, putting myself out there every now and then feels pretty good.  All I had to do was shoot him a simple text and he did the rest of the work for me.  Why does he have to live in another state?

In other news, my roommates are whores.  Seriously, I've never met girls who've made out with 10+ guys in one semester.  I'm puzzled as to how one can feel satisfied with that.  Making out is fun, I completely understand that (um, hello, remember Daniel?) but isn't one guy enough?  Doesn't it get old after awhile?  Don't you want something with more commitment than just a night or two of cuddling and kissing?  Every week they put me to shame, causing me to question whether or not I have any claim at all in calling this blog Confessions of a Mormon Skank.  Maybe I ought to invite them to be guest bloggers...

My heart is on the floor. Why don't you step on it?

Daniel and I snuck away from his birthday party and locked lips for a couple minutes down the street.  It wasn't very long, nothing really happened except some good smooches.  Later he sent me a text telling me he wasn't quite satisfied.  Dan, my friend, neither was I.  I've been running on empty for a good couple of months and the two brief sessions we've had recently weren't enough.  I've been left wanting more.  It's time for a makeout date.  The weather is nice, he and I should go star gazing or something so we can have some alone time.  I hate dry spells...

Last week Tyson rocked me emotionally. I sent him a text several weeks ago saying, "I hate that I don't feel comfortable talking to you."  It was a weak moment that I regret.  I hadn't had his number for awhile but then I just so happened to end up with it and I couldn't resist temptation.  He didn't respond, so I had a good cry the next day and then I deleted him from my phone and facebook (finally.)  I felt like I needed cleansing.  I feel like I need to completely wash all of that off me.  But I can't ever be fully rid of Tyson and the scum he is.

Last week he finally responded to my text.  He said something about not knowing what to say and thinking about my text again and again.  He said he was sorry for making things awkward on his part.  That was it.  I got the text while I was at work and I think I almost passed out.  My hands started shaking, my heart started pounding, my knees felt weak.  I'm not made to handle this emotional stress.  It's wrecking everything about me.  I cried yesterday after seeing Tyson at institute.  Every time I'm near him I want to throw things, like punches or tables.  It pisses me off that he can walk around so unaffected by everything.  Why am I feeling so broken while he's acting as if we ought to be mending things and becoming friends?

It's safe to say that Tyson went from being the love of my life to one of my top 5 most disliked people I've ever met.  It's a shame, too, because he could be such a fun friend.  Any hope we had of being friends was smashes to bits when he tossed me aside like I never mattered.  Dick.

I wasn't quite finished with that...

I threw a party recently.  It was a dance party, I invited everyone and they invited all their friends.  It was one huge mother effing dance party.  As far as the dancing goes, it was pretty tame; all my friends are LDS and don't really do the whole dirty dancing thing.  The most raunch it got was a couple of us girls all dancing up on each other to make the boys drool.  Well, it wasn't really to make them drool, but we know they did anyway.

Daniel showed up, being one of the first times I've seen him in a long time.  We've seen each other at institute and some firesides, but he's been pretty scarce.  It doesn't help that we live a good 25 minutes apart and are in different stakes.  Holy.  Smokes.  I don't know what was done differently, but Daniel looked super good.  He had on an excellent blue shirt and his hair was slightly done, but not overly stuffed with product (Yes, Aiden, it's called Product) and he just looked well put together.   I was slightly dazzled by his ravishingly good looks.

Half way through the party I get a text from Daniel.  Conversation went as follows:

Daniel:  Sigh a man without isn't a man at all
Leslie:  Huh?
Daniel:  Kiss me
Leslie:  Hahaha, you're in a room full of people.
Daniel:  Well that is a shame.  I donno where to go.
Leslie:  Go out in the front yard on the side of the garage

He went, I snuck out the side door in the garage.  He grabbed me, pushed me against the side of the house and kissed me nice and hard.  One kiss turned into several, which ended up being a full on standing make out. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Daniel is a really good kisser.  He gives those type of kisses that don't involve so much tongue that you're practically drowning in the other person's saliva, but just the right amount and they last just long enough.  I love kissing him....except when he's trying to stick his hands down my pants.

I'm pretty self conscious about my body (what girl isn't?) and I had just been dancing around a lot, so I was kind of sweaty and Daniel tried to get his hands under my clothes just a little.  Boom, shot down!  I can get scandalous  but I don't let things get crazy.  We only made out for about fifteen minutes before heading back inside.  It was a good fifteen minutes, though.  It kept me busy while Chase decided to vacate the party with some chick.

In a way I feel slightly stupid for allowing myself to give into Daniel's request so easily, but at the same time, we're using each other equally.  We both just want a little lip lovin' and know we enjoy the other.  For the meantime, I can dig it.

AWOL

It's been over a month since I posted.  In short, my social like exploded and swallowed me whole.  It hasn't quite spit me back out, but I've come up for a breather.  Here's a recap of the men in my life:

Tyson:  Still a dick, still ignores me at institute/multi stake events. His sister told me that it might be time to start being friends again.  She doesn't know what went down between us.  Eventually I'll explain to her (and to you) but right now I'm still brooding over it and would rather leave the subject untouched.

Frank:  He's a pansy.  A super cute, awkward, totally Mormon pansy.  He doesn't have the guts to ask me (or that skank he was blatantly flirting with) out on a date.  Instead, I have to hang around him all the time at Aiden's house all the time.  It sucks.  I can't ever win over the guy I actually am interested in.  I think I'm doomed to always be stuck in the friend zone.  Eff my freaking life.  Whatever, Frank can have his popular pretty girl, even though her eyes are oddly close together and her face looks kind of droopy when she smiles.

Daniel:  We went awhile without really talking, then we started talking again and he got all horny.  If he hadn't busted his knee, resulting in his being confined to his bed all summer, we'd make out again.  I'm really not enjoying this dry spell.

Over all, I can't wait for Summer to end.  I'm moving to Idaho and I'm probably most excited to have a whole new dating pool.  Living at my parents house, seeing all the same guys I've been seeing for the past couple years in my ward sucks.  The boys just suck.  They don't take me on dates, they don't take anyone on dates. What's up with that?  YOU GUYS SUCK.

Something old, something new

Daniel and I haven't meet up for almost four weeks.  First week he was busy, next week I was out of town, last week I had work/he was sick/we weren't feeling it.  We've kind of agreed that we've gotten bored and this has come to an end.

Here's the thing: making out is great.  It's fun, it's a rush, you feel all sexy and wanted and all that warm fuzzy stuff.  However, when you're routinely making out with the same person but you're not actually dating, things start to get a little monotonous and boring.  Sure, we might have changed things up every week, but it still got boring.  We dabbled with the thought of actually getting together, even though, much like the Capulets and Montagues, our families hate each other.  That didn't happen.  We got bored.  And so it would appear that we are no more.  And I don't really care.  It was fun while it lasted, it took away some of the pain that I was feeling over Tyson (saw him for the first time a couple weeks ago.  He had the balls to try and joke around with me.  Dick.) and now I'm ready to take on something new, which I've already found...

Frank.  He's relatively new in my ward, just got home from his mission at the beginning of February, suuuuper new RM awkward.  All things considered, anything that would go down with him would be the complete opposite of what Daniel and I do.  Cross your fingers for me.

Canoodling and Cop Cars

As is typical for a Thursday night, Daniel and I met up for a nice little romp in the back of my car.  Our normal spot in an abandoned parking lot was taken, so we decided to go to the nearby LDS church parking lot.  It was dark and empty and perfect.  

I've noticed that recently my little excursions with Daniel are less about making out and more about talking and teasing and giggling.  There's part of me that really like this, especially when he sends me text messages after wards saying, "I really enjoy talking to you, Leslie." but then another part of me is screaming, "NOOOOO!!!!  This is when people get attached and hearts are going to be SMUSHED and your 'non-committal' are going to flop over to 'committal' so fast you won't even know!"  I guess the whole arrangement he and I have is a little less NCMO and a little more friends-with-benefits, but I still view it as completely unattached.  I could get a boyfriend at any time.  Daniel could snatch up some pretty young thing (last night I actually told him that he's gonna find her very soon and this will have to end) at any moment.  Annnywaay, point is, we talked a lot last night.  It was fun, we lay in the back of my car laughing and joking around, sharing a couple smooches here and there.

We had hardly spent any time really doing any serious face sucking when Daniel said, "Yup, that's a spotlight."  Sure enough, all the times that Daniel had spent glancing around being paranoid of every light moving around us was giving reason.  Two cop cars pulled into the parking lot, shined their spotlight on my car then walked over and tapped on the window.  We had just been talking at the time, so we were laying side by side, nothing racy going on.  We climbed onto the middle seat and opened the car door. 

First question, "How old are you guys?  Can I see some ID?"  Second,  "So what are you guys doing?"  We answered, "To be perfectly honest, we're makin' out."  To which the lady cop gave us a skeptical look and said, "Just making out, eh?  No sex?  No groping each other?"  This is where I got all silly and giggly and started going on and on about how we're good Mormon kids and we were just making out because we didn't want to makeout at our houses because of our parents and we had been friends for a long time but started dating around Christmas time (so glad Daniel didn't speak up at that time and say we started dating at a different time)  I also threw in a little bit about how "if he ever tried any sort of groping, I'd smack him so hard!"  I don't think the cop was buying it for a little while, but then she eased up and just told us about how if we had been caught having sex, we'd be put on a sex offenders list (you should have seen Daniel's eyes bug out at that) but then she made it clear that just making out is okay, we'd just have to find another place.  

To sum it all up, we weren't doing anything wrong except that we were parking somewhere that was considered closed to the public.  Next time, we'll be more discrete.  

I don't know if anything kills the buzz faster than the fuzz.

Afternoon Delight

I don't typically ward hop.  I'm very involved in my single's ward, so I stick pretty close to home.  However, there was one particular Sunday when I had the oportunity to attend another ward for part of the block and I knew I looked really good, so I went on the off chance that I'd see this guy I'd been in love with for the past couple years.  Okay, I also wanted to go and make Daniel see how hot I am.  This was mid-February and I hadn't kissed anyone since Daniel on New Year's...

Somehow Daniel and I ended up at the park after church ended (Tyson, kid I was in love with, was a no-show.)  We walked around the entire park and sat down on the bleachers by the baseball fields and just talked.  It was really nice to catch up with him and see what he was up to.  He called me out on my constant application of chapstick, claiming I'd lured him to the park just so I could kiss him.  That is FALSE.  I had had really dry lips the previous week and they cracked really bad, the chapstick was just to keep moisture on my lips so the cracks wouldn't get any bigger.  I intended to not kiss Daniel at all.  Tyson was home from his mission and we were hanging out practically every day, so I wanted to avoid guilt.  Daniel walked me to my car, gave me a big hug, and planted one on me.  Whoops....

The next Sunday Daniel came to my ward and we left early...to go makeout at a park.  There we were in our Sunday best, making out instead of sitting in Sunday school.  As far as habits go, that's something I'm not planning on making into one.  I came home from "church" and during dinner my dad gave me his normal quiz of who taught what class and what did I find interesting.  Definitely had to fudge a little instead of tell him about the French lesson...

Through a whirlwind of events, including Tyson announcing he got a girlfriend (freaking whore, I hate her), my telling Daniel that we had to stop and then, later that day, telling him we needed to meet up asap, Daniel and I ended up with plans to meet up and makeout.  Scheduled hookup.  Since then, it's been that same day every week.  Friends with benefits, makeout buddies, committed NCMO partners, secret lovers without the lovers bit (Daniel's favorite lable.  Should I be worried?)  It's a weird arrangement, I know, but somehow it's working out...

The Infamous NCMO

NCMO: Non-Committal Make Out.  The mormon hook up or one night stand.  A good ol' macking sesh with someone you don't want to date.  

There's something about getting together with someone for just a night that adds some thrill.  For me, I feel like it's a bit of a walk on the wild side because I'm normally a pretty committed gal.  For the longest time I never even considered indulging in a NCMO because I felt like I'd end up getting attached and hurt in the end.  I tried it for the first time in a looong time at the end of last year after a pretty bad break up.  I had recently gotten in contact with an ex boyfriend from high school and he was more than willing to stick his tongue down my throat once or twice.  Unfortunately for him, any chemistry we had in high school was long gone and it wasn't enjoyable at all.  I'm fairly certain I ended up paying more attention to Zombieland than I did to his kissing.  It wasn't enjoyable at all.

 

But then New Year's Eve came around.

I have this friend, Daniel, who got back from his mission in December.  We dated once upon a high school time, he was my first love, we broke up, yada yada yada.  Well, turns out he and I still have mad chemistry so shortly after his return, the subject of us getting together for a rendezvous came up.  Happen on New Year's Eve, first in his car and then in mine.  I don't know if it was just the New Year's magic in the air or how quickly Daniel caught on to the proper technique of making out (he's a fast learner.  likereally fast), but it was amazing.  I wasn't thinking about Zombieland or this other guy that I was crushing on, I was completely focused on what was going on right then and there.  First NCMO I'd completely enjoyed.

That was the beginning of my adventure down NCMO lane and I haven't looked back since.