Psych Out

I keep psyching myself out.  I'm convinced that if I text Nate too often or flirt too much, he's going to back away.  But then he does something to completely debunk those feelings.  Not only does he go out of his way to be around me, but he also strikes up brilliant conversation.  I won't say anything about hanging out together, but he says, "I'm going to bed, but I'll see you tomorrow!"  And then I get butterflies.

I don't know if you'll believe this, but I was once the most confident girl ever.  I had no fear when it came to guys.  If there was one I wanted, I got him.  There was a time period between my senior year of high school and about a year after Tyson went on his mission when every guy I was into I ended up dating.  It was like I possessed some magical power.  Simply irresistible.  

That girl is making a come back, I can feel it.  I feel as though the timing with Nate is perfect. He was really into this girl, but she pretty much ditched him to be with another guy.  I feel really bad for him, but at the same time I can't be all that upset, because it just works out really well for me.  My window of opportunity is wide open and I am being adventurous.  

OH YEAH!

Nightmare

I woke up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat.

I had dreamed that Tyson added my mom on facebook and was commenting on all of her pictures.  He was talking about me and saying how great my mother is, that it would be nice to get to know her better, if only someone would drop the past and get over it.  I was furious.  In my dream, I spent nearly the entire time trying to think of some harsh, cutting remark to make back.  I couldn't believe that a) He would add my mom.  She hates him.  And b) that he would talk so openly about our situation, but not have the balls to talk to my face about it.

I woke up livid, teeth clenched, jaw sore.  It was a relief to realize that my mom doesn't even have a facebook and she would never ever add Tyson nor stand for him making comments about me.

That was the first time I'd thought of him in a while.

I don't hate him as much as I used to, in fact, I almost wish him happiness.  I think I was more upset at the fact that he was trying to be part of my life again, through one of the people I hold dearest.

On a happy note, I'll be seeing Nate tonight for a dinner with friends.  I also dreamed about him and his adorable smile.  :)

From one to another

If it's not obvious by now, I tend to develop crushes on different guys pretty quickly.  If I think that there's hope with one and that he kind of reciprocates some interest, I'll stick with it for awhile.  If not, I toss that useless crush aside and move onto the next pretty quickly.

I feel like this semester has consisted of one or two posts about a certain boy but then I'm onto someone else or I'm complaining about how dumb and confusing Wade is.  Where is the consistency?  Where is my sense of monogamy and commitment?  Probably somewhere in the unattainable realm that the boys who are worth it are hanging out in.  I feel a little bit defeated as far as crushes go.  I can't possibly be that rusty at the who flirt and date game, can I?  I used to have such game!  WHERE IS IT!

Alas, I digress.  My intent in writing this post was to introduce you to Nate, the formerly mentioned FHE brother.  I've spent way more time these past two weeks socializing with people who aren't my roommates/Isaac and his roommates.  I've made a good girlfriend who lives in my ward and we've had the time of our lives getting together with guys from the ward.  Most often it's my FHE brothers, but sometimes we mix others in there, too.

My initial crush within the ward was Will, but I've already told you that he's moving to Utah.  I've looked at Nate before and been attracted to him, but the more time I spend with him, the more and more I find myself thinking about him when we're not together.  He's entertaining, he's goofy, he's tall dark and handsome.  He's spiritual and respects the honor code.  He makes insightful comments during Sunday school and invites me to sit with him during sacrament meeting.

This past Saturday, on account of the gorgeous weather, we went to the park to play soccer.  I'm not a soccer player by any means, but when I'm in the mood, I'll get out there and kick the ball around a bit.  It was so much fun!  We weren't even playing very seriously, just having a good time running around in the sun.  After awhile, though, I got pretty winded, due to my asthma.  Nate had been goofing off and trying to get me to tackle him and steal the ball from him most of the time, but he came over to me and did this little tap on my stomach with the back of his hand and said, "Hey, you okay?"  It's hard to explain the gesture in a way that adequately captures the tenderness of it all.  I normally wouldn't like a guy to touch my stomach, but it was sweet and endearing.  It felt intimate and kind.

Then I kissed him.

Not really, but I wished I had.  Maybe someday.

I got a kick out of this

On Sunday night I was chillin with a friend and one of my FHE brothers, Nate, when Bianca came into the living room and sat with us.  Suddenly the conversation was dominated by her butting into everything with something.  That girl knows something about everything, or at least she pretends to.  She reminds me of a Brian Regan joke...

So funny.  Anywaaay, When Bianca walked into the room, one of my other roommates, Sam, whose room is right off of the living room, sent me a text and our conversation went like this:

Sam:  Wooooow is that a b@#$* I smell
Me:  Hahahaha!!!!  Yes.  It stanks of skank.
Sam:  Tell her to GTFO
Bianca got some fancy european crackers and offered them to everyone, we all declined.
Sam:  I'm so cool because I eat european food!
Me:  Hahahaha!
Sam:  Offer crackers + no one takes any = forever alone
Me:  I literally LOL'd!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't  that funny, but in the moment it was great.  Especially if you know Sam and what her temperament is like.

Ladies and Gents, only two weeks left in this apartment with the roommates that are the salt whores of the earth!  Freedom is near.  I can taste it.  It tastes like sunshine and boys.

Happy Spring!

Just kidding.  Spring will never come to Rexburg.

This was me this morning.  I'm upset about that.

Is is too much to ask for this mild winter to also be a winter that doesn't linger?  C'mon, Rexburg.  Throw me a bone.

What you should know about Rexburg: BYUI

Per request (I am getting requests!  yay!) I'm going to write a series of posts about Rexburg and things in this area ie: the town, the school, the social atmosphere.  I'm really excited to write this.  Last night when I read the tweet from Diana, I could hardly stop thinking about it and thus had trouble falling asleep.  Literally, I was laying in bed with my eyes closed, mouth guard in, repeating to myself, "You can think about the blog in the morning, just go to sleep!"

For this segment, I'd like to focus on BYUI, including housing and how I generally create my schedule, as well as events and such.  Sooo here we go!

Foundations (and other classes): This might date me a little bit, but I started school here right before the foundations program started, so I dodged that bullet.  However, there are tons of GE classes that were discontinued and I had to take the foundations equivalent.  I don't think the foundations program is as bad as everyone says it is, but it's not spectacular.  I've finally finished all my GE credits, so I don't have to sit through any more of those lower level classes.  Hallelujah!

Do I have any tips as far as foundations are concerned?

• GET THEM DONE ASAP.  Definitely make sure you have a couple credits worth of other classes each semester, but try and get your foundations classes done as soon as you can.  Doing those first allows you to explore different areas of study while still getting credits towards something you need anyway.  
• Always always always use rate my professor when you're planning your schedule.  Before I used this website, picking a professor was a gamble.  Now I can read what others have said and feel better about picking a section of a class to take.  Sometimes the only section available for your schedule has a poorly rated professor, but it's okay.  Sometimes professors get bad ratings from bitter students, but they aren't all that bad.  All the same, it helps a lot.
• Scheduling.  This is how I do it, which has worked out pretty well for me.  You don't have to do it this way, but I find I like this method.  Under your my.byui.edu tab, there's a place where you can add/drop classes.  About a week prior to your registration date (depends on the semester you're registering for and how many credits you already have) you should go through the process of registration without actually registering.  I open the calendar on my phone, have an open tab on my browser with my intended major, another with my minor, and another with my general (foundation) requirements (all of those are found in your catalog year.  If your first semester was Fall 2011, your catalog year is 2011-2012 and so forth.)  I pick a couple classes I want to take that semester, search through registration to see what times they're offered and what professors are teaching them (using rate my professor) and then I create a tentative schedule on my phone, imputing all the details I need to easily find that specific class on registration day.  Having this prepped, I get up at 6am MST on the day I'm eligible to register, then I register.  If a class I want is full, I go to my backups.  
• Guitar classes sound like fun, but lugging a guitar around all day isn't.  Just sayin'.  
• Professors I've loved:  For Family Foundations, try as hard as you can to take from Brother Wahlquist.  He is a spiritual giant, presents the material in a very real way, and requires very little busy work.  Brother Baron is a great religion teacher, Brother Bruggar is a great English teacher.  Hermana Peck has low ratings on the website, but I really liked her as a Spanish teacher.  I took two classes from her.  

Housing:  As an incoming freshman at BYUI, you aren't required to live in the dorms.  Personally, I lived in the dorms my first semester, then moved out for my second and haven't ever considered moving back.  It's all a matter of personal preference, though.  Aiden's girlfriend is living in the dorms for her third semester right now.

• The dorms are nice because they're cheaper, there's only four girls per dorm, and getting to class takes so much less time.  For incoming freshman, I'd say it's worth it to at least give them a shot for a semester.  It's nice having all the other girls in that same stage of school and the social opportunities are great.  There are cons to living in the dorms, though.  BYUI is notorious for having strict rules (did you hear about the skinny jeans fiasco?) and those rules are more enforced on campus than off campus.  If you're not home by midnight, you get locked out and have to sign in with your RA.  If you have boys over, a roommate has to be there, the blinds have to be open, and your feet have to be on the floor.  If not, you could get in trouble.
• Living off campus, there's more freedom as far as the honor code goes.  I'm not saying it's a free-for-all and you can do whatever you want, but there's no one babysitting you, making you accountable for being home by curfew or not having boys in your bedroom.  I try not to abuse the privilege of being off campus to break the honor code (after all, I did sign a paper saying I was willing to follow the rules) but I'm sometimes a little free with what time I come home and whether or not I'll let guys use my bathroom rather than send them to the lounge.  Living off campus is a blessing and a curse.  I hate having to live with five other girls.  I hate laundry rooms that are always occupied.  I hate how it's a housing monopoly, so all the housing raises their prices and we poor students have to scrape and scrimp to afford it.  
• Off campus housing: The Scoop on complexes.  Popular places for girls to live: Royal Crest, Carriage House, Nauvoo House, The Ridge, Tuscany, Northgate, Colonial House, American Manor, Birch, The Ivy, Brookside.  There are more complexes, but I feel like most of the girls I've talked to want to live in one of these places.  The Ivy, Northgate, Tuscany, and the Ridge are the newest of complexes for girls, with the Ivy as the very newest having just opened in Fall 2011.  Since these places are newer, they're  more expensive.  I think Brookside is still the most expensive, but Autumn Winds might beat it by $50 or something like that.  The Ivy looks like a hotel, they have elevators and a trash guy so you never have to take your trash out.  Northgate is forever far away from everything, but it's townhouse style, big bedrooms, and free laundry inside each apartment.  Tuscany used to be the it place, but has since gone down hill due to a crazy manager (sorry Tami, but it's totally true: You're crazy.) However, Tuskanky  Tuscany is at a nice location and has individual rooms.  Personally, I feel like the Ridge is in a weird location, since it's all by it's lonesome up by the temple with Aspen Village, but the apartments are nicely laid out.  I love individual rooms, two fridges, and the huge pantry.    I feel like this section is just going on and on...

Basically, if you're going to live off campus, try and get your contract signed earlier rather than later.  For me, I've already signed a contract for the Fall.  I plan on not moving from this apartment until I either graduate or get married, which ever comes first.  

Activities:  On campus and around town.

• iNight: to go or not to go, that is the question.  I've been twice and it's been fun both times.  Some people in Rexburg think on campus activities are lame and don't even give them a second thought, but that's not always true.  I don't go to every on campus activity or dance, but I do think there's some value in being active with the school, especially for incoming freshman.  So yeah, why not spend the $2 and go to iNight?  Don't knock it till you try it.
• Flight museum dance parties:  I've been to a few of these, I've done my fair share of grinding on the dance floor, but I'm pretty sure those days are behind me.  These dance parties get crazy.  There are high schoolers sneaking in all the time, sometimes the cops shut them down.  Sometimes you get denied entry for over an hour and have to stand in the rain.  Sometimes nasty creepers dance up on you, or you dance right up against the speakers and can't hear for a week.  I'm not a fan. I don't recommend these parties.
• Sammy's:  They have free shows.  They have dance parties.  They have bomb pie shakes.  I like going to their shows, especially when someone I know is playing.  I like eating their pie shakes (banana cream FTW!), but I've never gone to their dance parties.  Just haven't.  

So there you have it, readers.  Rexburg: BYUI from Leslie's point of view.  

Milestone

I posted my first post on this blog almost exactly a year ago.

Here I am, on March 11th, 2012 still without a boyfriend, still feeling slight pangs of hurt over Tyson, but over all doing better than I was doing last year.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I've reached more than 1000 views on this blog.  I feel awesome about that.  On my personal blog, which I've maintained for more than five years, has just about 1500 views.  I never dreamed that this blog would really become a success, that I would somehow entertain and affect the lives of those I don't know.  I'm grateful for you, reader.

Life is wonderful.

That's pretty pinteresting

I admit it: I love Pinterest.  It's a guilty pleasure of mine, as I'm sure it is one of yours.  A couple days ago I was perusing through the many pages of wonderful quotes when I stumbled across this one.

Not only do I love V For Vendetta (I'm a sinner: I watch R-rated movies from time to time), but I also love Oscar Wilde.  There is truth behind this quote.  I blogged about it pretty recently.  You should remember that.  So yeah, this blog is my mask.  Booya.

A couple weeks ago Aiden said to me, "Leslie, I don't think you're going to meet anyone this semester.  I think that if you keep going to the gym, you'll be smokin' hot by Spring semester and you'll meet your guy then."  I get what he's saying and that he intended to be nice, but he went about it the wrong way.  You do NOT tell a girl that, "you keep going to the gym, and you'll eventually become hot" Never ever ever ever.  Ever.  I know I already look good, even if I'm not rail thin.  However, there is some truth behind what Aiden said.  I don't think I'm going to meet the guy this semester.  My classes aren't set up for me to have much interaction with guys and my ward is void of candidates (Will is moving to Utah.  Sad day) so I'm settling on Spring being the time.  It can't get here soon enough...but today was a nice, warm taste of the weather that is to come!  Delicious!

Happy weekend, everyone!

Oh Yeah!

I just noticed that I've gone up in followers.  Do you know how happy that makes me?  Super happy.

Yesterday Aiden and I were talking about his new girlfriend, roommate drama, and my severe lack of a man when he mention Brandon, a kid I had a brief fling with the couple months before Tyson came home.  Brandon had moved to our singles ward for the summer to do summer sales.  I met him at a party and instantly was smitten.

Given a little time, a camping trip, and a Harry Potter marathon, the two of us became an item.  It was the first time I was really with someone at home on a consistent basis since high school.  He was the kind of guy who was really good at snuggling.  We spent many nights on Aiden's couch curled up next to each other.  We didn't kiss much, but it was great.  He was great.  Brandon moved back home to Utah for school and that ended our fling.

Anyway, Aiden and I were talking last night and he brought up Brandon.  He said, "Brandon just needs to move to BYUI and marry you.  He's a really solid, good guy.  You need a Brandon."  Then, as I was about to go to bed that night, out of the blue Brandon popped up on facebook chat.

It doesn't mean anything except that the universe has a funny way of working.

Anyway, thanks for the follows.  I appreciate knowing I'm not writing to no one.

Anonymous

In the wake of Elder Cook's CES fireside, I feel as though I ought to address his message of, "Don't Hide Behind a Mask."

This blog is anonymous.  I've changed names, places, ages, and even some details.  Very few of my friends know I keep this blog and even fewer know what it's called and read it regularly.  I don't want you, as my readers, to think that I'm using this as an outlet to slander or hide shameful things that I've done.  On the contrary, I'd like to use it as a way to connect with those of you who are also LDS college/high school students who are experiencing some of the same frustrations as I am.  I'm not ashamed of anything I've written here, I'm writing with honesty (small details aside) to be more open than I'd be able to be if it were something with my real name on it.

Some of you might look at what I've written about Bianca and say, "What about her?"  I do love Bianca.  I wish her all the happiness that this life can provide, but I don't agree with the way she goes about her daily life.  I don't intend to make her out to be an awful, awful person.  She's someone who's hard to live with, hard to compete with when it comes to guys, that's all.

I hope you don't think I'm using the anonymity of this blog to portray myself as someone who I'm not.  This blog is more me than any other blog I've ever kept.  So while I share these lame stories of lame guy, like Wade and Eli (who's completely fallen off the face of the planet), please keep in mind that I do have a testimony and it is a strong one.

Jesus is my Savior.  Simple as that.