Confessions of a Mormon Player: Scott

Written by Scott

I am writing this in somewhat of a rebuttal of Leslie's post I've Got Beef. Well Leslie, I got beef with you and number of other girls at this silly school. It is lot harder to “grow a pair” than you would think, though I admit a lot of guys need to grow a pair. I could even throw myself into that mix, but it really is a lot harder than you would think, and here is why.

I came to this school a year removed from my mission with the promise of finding love. We have all heard it, “BYUI-do”, “Ring by spring or get your money back.” There was a lot of promise. I came up here in search of it. Yeah, I told my Mom and Dad I wanted to grow up and get a degree but I’m pretty sure they read right through that load of crap. I wasn't, nor am I currently, necessarily ready to get married but I wanted a girlfriend. Believe it or not, girls, guys want girls. Behind the rugged beards, hawking luggies, and belching the alphabet, we like having girlfriends. We love to be loved and love having someone to talk to and flirt with. You ask any guy, he won’t admit that to you, but he does, trust me. So I came up here for that. I came up here to find a girl to flirt with, to be with, and to date.

Now to the beef I've got. Girls here at BYU-Idaho are very, VERY quick to judge. As a guy, you run into one of two problems. The first is you ask a girl out and she automatically assumes you want to get married. I mean, why wouldn't she? You are a Mormon kid who has been back from your mission two and half years and you don’t have a child? What in the world is wrong with you? Girls, that is for my mother to worry about, not you. Don’t assume we just want to marry you. Don’t assume that the only thinkg that is on our mind is the temple and having ten kids. We want to date you. We want to take you on dates and we want to get to know you. You don’t assume love at first sight and we don’t expect you to either. Look past the stigma that we just want to get married and relax and go on a date with us. Who knows, we may not like you and we won’t get married. Phew, I know. But we may also like each other and, wait for it, have a good time. There’s a concept that works.

The second beef I've got, the one I usually fall into, is that girls judge the guy very quickly. Very quickly they jump to conclusions on if they could date the guy that is flirting with them. I think this is very intertwined with assuming we just want to marry them. I know some guys can be creepy and once you sit there and listen for a few minutes they get your number and then never leave you alone. I get that. But there are a number of us that hear this all the time and so we stand back. We don’t want to be the annoying creepy guy who taps you on the shoulder in the Smith quad to ask you out on a date. We would rather sit back and relax than to put ourselves out there in fear of being the next creepy guy to ask you on a date. We are also afraid of being judged quickly.  We are afraid that we just aren't quite good looking enough or we are just not the type that girls is looking for. Swallow your pride a little bit and go on at least one date with a guy. I know the ball is completely in our court. We determine how the date goes and it could very well be horrible but it also could very well be amazing. But don’t be so quick to judge based on their looks. There are guys out there that may not be panty droppers but they can make you laugh and you will have more fun with them than anyone else.

Last thing I want to cover are those guys that can just walk up to you and are good looking and are sweet talkers. Not all of the time, but most of the time, they just want to get in your pants. Trust me, I've done it and I've seen it done. It is a lot easier to talk and flirt and be aggressive if you just want a quick NCMO. Why do you think Tinder is so fascinating? So do those stand-back guys you wish would just talk to you a favor and talk with him. I’m not saying ask him on a date, but go and talk to him. I have had girls come over and talk to me and I have found them a lot more attractive because it allowed me to relax. I feel I can be very charismatic and can and will say whatever I want but if you ask me to ask a girl I hardly know out, I start searching for a new pair of underwear because I get so nervous. 

I know I need more confidence. I know I need to talk to more girls and I admit a lot of guys need to grow a pair, including myself. But think for just a minute that if you assume every guy just wants to marry you, we assume that every girl thinks that and doesn't want us to talk to her. Girls say that confidence in guys sells. Well I say confidence in girls sells. Be open and realize that we don’t want to just marry you. There is more to us than meets the eye and we aren't just trying to get in your pants.

(Neither Scott nor Leslie are responsible for any guy that is unable to pick up on signs)