At the beginning of the month, right around the time I ran into Kirk, I met someone. It was a brief meeting, he's a friend of a friend. On my way through the library with a friend we ran into the guy she's been sort of dating and his friend. We stopped and chatted briefly then went on our way. A few days later I got a text from a random number saying it was the friend of the guy. I'll be honest, I didn't remember who he was. Our meeting was so very brief that he hadn't crossed my mind, especially because all my thoughts were consumed with Kirk and what second chances could mean.
His name is Cameron and he is a mega flirt. Not only does he text me ALL the time, he's constantly flirting. I got kind of annoyed with him because I had major tunnel vision going on with Kirk and I think I was a little rude. You know how sometimes when you talk to someone and you're asking question after question after question and all you're getting are really brief, to-the-point answers you kind of get the picture? I was the one answering the questions. Eventually I got so fed up with fending off his blatant flirting that I told him I was thinking about giving my ex a second chance. You'd think that would be enough to deter a fellow, but not Cameron. He stopped texting me for a weekend and then came back swinging on Tuesday with, "You didn't forget about me, did you? ;)"
At first I felt that pang of annoyance. "This guy again? Doesn't he know when enough is enough? We study in the same place yet he hasn't had the balls to come talk to me in person yet. Give it up, champ!" But then my heart softened. Cameron is a guy I hadn't spoken to face to face other than a brief introduction and I was doing my hardest to deter his advances. Freaking Kirk was in my head, makin me turned off to the idea of anyone else. It was pathetic. So I started being nice, encouraging conversation. This past week we've spent about an hour studying side by side in the library. Albeit a bit awkward, considering my coldness and his outright flirting. Here's a guy who wants to take me to nice restaurants in Idaho Falls. He wants to get out of the apartment and do things.
I'm not saying I'm going to date Cameron, I'm not sure that I'm attracted to him like that, I'm just saying that I've been acting like a B. I've been so wrapped up in something clearly bad for me (sorry for ignoring your advice. I'm stupid and ignorant) that I haven't noticed the other things have been happening. There are good things going for me and I've been too busy shutting them out.
Open your eyes, Leslie. You're too selfish. Get out of your head and look around. Give people chances, show more love, be more exciting. You've got this.
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