Dear Guys at BYU-Idaho

Since returning to Rexburg this past weekend, I've already noticed a couple trends among the young men here.

1.  Popped collars.  What the heck is that?  I know it's not a new trend, it's been going on since I started going to school here.  I just don't get it.  You look like a douche.  You know what girls date douches?  Bimbos.  Bimbos aren't the kind of girls you want marrying you and raising your kids.  Just don't do it, let the collar lay where it's supposed to lay.

2.  The Euro Mullet.  Do you really think that's attractive?  It's only appropriate if you're from Spain or Germany and play soccer.  And no, going on your mission there doesn't count.  You look like you forgot to finish cutting your gross, moppy hair.

3.  What's the deal with not holding open the door for a lady?  Or for anyone, even.  If I'm walking in the building right behind you, my arms full of a GIGANTIC guitar case, I'd appreciate a little bit of chivalry.  I promise, every guy (or girl) who holds the door open for me, I will turn to you and say thanks.  Because I really appreciate it.

GEEZE LOUISE, BYUI MEN!