Liam. Gorgeous, manly Liam. Here's a guy that is confusing. He and I have talked quite a bit over the past week and every time we're interacting he's super engaged in the conversation. He jokes around with me and laughs when I poke fun at him. At ward activities I'll catch his eye and he'll smile at me, which makes me feel a little awkward and a little enthralled. However I'm not really getting the vibe that he's into me. Maybe it's just that it's barely into the second week of the semester and I'm reading way too far into anything because that's just what I do best.
I tried something last night. At the ward opening social I spent most of the time flirting with another guy in the ward, Bryan, who is also really handsome and funny. He actually might be more fun than Liam, he just doesn't have the jaw nor the voice that dreamboat has. . .Anyway, while I was flirting it up with Bryan, Liam came over and tried to jump into the conversation a couple times, but it was just wasn't organic feeling and felt a little forced. Maybe someone's a little sad I wasn't focusing all my attention on getting him to fall in love with me...
You guys, I'm ridiculous. It's barely into the semester and I'm all over these dudes even though I said I wasn't going to be like this. I blame it on spring fever. It's a real thing and I've caught it. Liam is gorgeous and his voice is so rich and lovely...but maybe my time is better spent with Bryan. Or someone else. Or on no one at all. Ridiculous.
I can't help it. I just want to make out with a guy and maybe cuddle a lot. IT'S SPRING FEVER.
Tales of a 26 year old girl trying to navigate her way through the Mormon dating world
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Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
What You Should Know About Rexburg: Take Two
Took you guys a little while to get some questions out there, but I think I now have enough to work with. Many thanks, dear followers.
Is there a health food/whole food organic type of grocery store near BYUI?
The only place I can think of in Rexburg that is along the lines of a health food store is Nature's Nook. This place is tucked away behind the Subway on N 2nd E (the one with the drive-thru and the coolest employees) and sort of by K-Mart. I've only been in there once and it was awhile ago, but from what I remember they've only got dry goods, so if you're looking for organic fruits and vegetables (which, nutritionally speaking, are no different than non-organic produce yet fiscally speaking statistically more expensive) you're going to have to either settle for what you find at Broulims or Albertson's. Or go to Idaho Falls. Sorry, kids. What I know Nature's Nook does have: bags of dried herbs and spices. Seriously, they have a huge bag of poppy seeds for $11 or something like that. Poppy seeds are expensive and that's an awesome price. Poppy seed muffins for everyone!
As far as other grocery shopping, most people shop at Broulims. It's expensive, but it's not as expensive as Albertson's, although Alberson's has better produce than Broulims. Actually, I'm pretty sure any grocery store has better produce than Broulims. In my opinion, the produce at WinCo makes the drive out to Idaho Falls worth it. Most of what I buy at WinCo is produce and then I chow down on fruits and vegetables until my heart's content.
Is finding a job easy?
No. Let me tell you a story.
Toward the end of Fall semester 2011 I started hurting for money pretty badly. I knew that I could either go home during the coming winter semester, my off track, and work at a job out in California or I could stay in Rexburg with my friends and get a job in town. I started filling out applications for every place in town at the beginning of November, got one interview, nothing resulted. I ended up staying in Rexburg because my gut told me that I would be better off there than in California, even if I had no money, wasn't in school, and was unemployed. I continue to apply for jobs, calling to follow up on my applications. Nothing.
Out of the blue toward the end of February I finally got an interview with a restaurant in town that had kept my application from November and finally decided to call me. I walked away from the interview with a job, which was validating and awesome, but at the same time I was pretty bummed that it took almost FOUR months of constant job hunting to find a job.
Moral of the story: It's not easy to find a job in Rexburg. However, good things come to those who persist. Finding a job here isn't easy, but it's possible. And if all else fails, there's always Progrexion.
What activities can help me meet new people and make new friends?
- The Ward-One of my favorite places to make new friends is in my ward. I have a pretty spectacular ward and it's got a lot of new people in it. My roommates and I leave our door open and people just walk in and suddenly we have new friends in the ward. I went to ward prayer last night and ended up at someones apartment playing games until midnight with a bunch of really fun guys and gals. It was such a blast.
- Activities on Campus-Have you ever been Country Dancing? Latin Dancing? Horseback riding? Played battleship in a canoe in a huge pool? Sometimes I forget that the school has some really fun activities! Take a look at the activities page and see what piques your interest. Make it a goal to get out there and do some of those activities. Make sure you introduce yourself and get to know someone new while you're out having fun!
- In class! I used to think it was obnoxious when people would talk to me in class. I figured I was in class to learn (sort of) and as obligation to my status as a college student, not to make friends. However, I made some of the best friends of my college career last semester and they were in my classes. As soon as I got over myself I ended up talking to the people that I sat around every single day and I made friends. And they're awesome.
Basically you just need to get out there and meet people in any way you can. Maybe you need to try doing things you wouldn't normally do. Maybe you need to practice getting out of your comfort zone. Maybe you need to smile at people and strike up conversations. Get out there! Don't sit in your apartment waiting for something to happen, be the something to happen to someone else!
Which apartment complexes are the most down to earth?
I went into a bit of detail in my previous post about Rexburg as far as complexes go, and not much has changed except now The Willows is open, which is yet another place for the stuck-up girls to go to. Also, I recently spent a bit of time over at Baronessa and I realized that the girls there are freaking rad. Of course you get your socially awkward ones, weird ones, and annoying ones, but you get them everywhere you go. You can't escape the different groups of people because every complex has it's own groups and not all of them are likable.
Well, that's it, folks. I've got homework I need to finish.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
BYUI Apartments-What Do You Want To Know?
The most popular page on my blog is the post in which I went into detail about BYU-Idaho and how to prepare for things like classes and apartments. I've gotten some comments and tweets asking for more posts on this kind of information, but I don't really know what ya'll want to know. This is where I ask for you to take time to comment and tell me what you'd like to know about!
Apartment complexes
Activities
Jobs
Where to Eat
These are just a few categories to get your minds running. Leave questions! Get specific! The more questions you guys ask, the more I'll be able to write something that will be useful for you. You can also tweet me with questions because I LOVE Twitter. @MormonSkank
Ready. . .Go!
EDIT:
One comment? Really, guys? I know you're reading this. I can see the pageviews go up. I KNOW YOU'RE LURKING!
Apartment complexes
Activities
Jobs
Where to Eat
These are just a few categories to get your minds running. Leave questions! Get specific! The more questions you guys ask, the more I'll be able to write something that will be useful for you. You can also tweet me with questions because I LOVE Twitter. @MormonSkank
Ready. . .Go!
EDIT:
One comment? Really, guys? I know you're reading this. I can see the pageviews go up. I KNOW YOU'RE LURKING!
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Eating My Words
Remember when I said I didn't want to date this semester? Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts. Spring has been very kind to my ward. Very, very kind.
I was sitting in Sunday school, listening to everyone introduce themselves, because no one had a lesson planned so the Bishop decided it would be Get-To-Know-The-Ward-Hour, when I spotted him. A pair of tan pants amidst black and gray. That chin is the manliest thing I have laid eyes on in quite some time and trust me, I've seen some very manly things lately. It was as though God himself reached out and carved this man's face out of pure testosterone. My ovaries flopped at the sight. When it came around to this fellow's turn to introduce himself instead of saying, "Hi, my name is John, I'm from Rigby and I like to play sports" like every other guy in the ward (just kidding, they're all from California) he said, "My name is Liam. I'm from Portland, Oregon and I like having short hair." Awesome. Not douchebaggy, but clever. Not waving around his sport or musical abilities, simply stating that he likes having short hair. And DANG, his short hair looks great. It accentuates his manliness quite nicely.
There was a moment in sacrament meeting when I was being sustained (RS Prez. They finally got me) when he turned around and we locked eyes for a split second and I just wanted to shout, "DIBS! I CALL DIBS ON LIAM AND HIS CHIN!" But I didn't. Instead I raised my hand to the square and sustained myself, then quietly took my seat, gazing at the back of his short haired head.
The breakthrough moment came after church was over I was sitting outside the bishop's office waiting to be set apart. I sat on one side of the hall with a couple of my roommates and Liam sat directly across from me next to another guy in the ward who, by the way, is hilarious and handsome. The two of them started talking, gesturing at me a few times, which was a little confusing until I figured out that the funny guy was explaining my claddagh ring to Liam. I helped him explain it, taking the ring off to let Liam examine it. +1 for sneakily telling Liam that I am completely available without being all awkward, "I don't have a boyfriend, so...Let's make out!" After that little conversation, the door was completely open for getting to know each other. We all talked about where we're from and I told the boys that I love cooking. They pretty much invited themselves over, which is okay with me. After all the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?
During our conversation I discovered that Liam is roommates with Isaac, which is completely random. They've known each other for a long time seeing as they used to play in the same band. I have attended concerts where both of them played together and somehow I failed to notice the godliness that is Liam because I was too goo-goo eyed over Isaac's adorable face. The timing wasn't right. But now that they're roommates... I sent Isaac a text saying, "Your new roommate Liam. Dibs." Isaac's response: "Do it!" Oh yes, I think I will. Well, maybe I won't try for it, but I'll at least put myself out there and flirt with him. I went over to their apartment this afternoon to bring something to Isaac and while he and I were talking about our breaks Liam occasionally chimed in. Dude, on top of a great exterior, Liam has a lot of things going for him. He's funny! And his voice is deliciously deep, like rich purple velvet. I want to wrap up in it.
Liam. I want that mouth on my mouth.
I was sitting in Sunday school, listening to everyone introduce themselves, because no one had a lesson planned so the Bishop decided it would be Get-To-Know-The-Ward-Hour, when I spotted him. A pair of tan pants amidst black and gray. That chin is the manliest thing I have laid eyes on in quite some time and trust me, I've seen some very manly things lately. It was as though God himself reached out and carved this man's face out of pure testosterone. My ovaries flopped at the sight. When it came around to this fellow's turn to introduce himself instead of saying, "Hi, my name is John, I'm from Rigby and I like to play sports" like every other guy in the ward (just kidding, they're all from California) he said, "My name is Liam. I'm from Portland, Oregon and I like having short hair." Awesome. Not douchebaggy, but clever. Not waving around his sport or musical abilities, simply stating that he likes having short hair. And DANG, his short hair looks great. It accentuates his manliness quite nicely.
There was a moment in sacrament meeting when I was being sustained (RS Prez. They finally got me) when he turned around and we locked eyes for a split second and I just wanted to shout, "DIBS! I CALL DIBS ON LIAM AND HIS CHIN!" But I didn't. Instead I raised my hand to the square and sustained myself, then quietly took my seat, gazing at the back of his short haired head.
The breakthrough moment came after church was over I was sitting outside the bishop's office waiting to be set apart. I sat on one side of the hall with a couple of my roommates and Liam sat directly across from me next to another guy in the ward who, by the way, is hilarious and handsome. The two of them started talking, gesturing at me a few times, which was a little confusing until I figured out that the funny guy was explaining my claddagh ring to Liam. I helped him explain it, taking the ring off to let Liam examine it. +1 for sneakily telling Liam that I am completely available without being all awkward, "I don't have a boyfriend, so...Let's make out!" After that little conversation, the door was completely open for getting to know each other. We all talked about where we're from and I told the boys that I love cooking. They pretty much invited themselves over, which is okay with me. After all the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?
During our conversation I discovered that Liam is roommates with Isaac, which is completely random. They've known each other for a long time seeing as they used to play in the same band. I have attended concerts where both of them played together and somehow I failed to notice the godliness that is Liam because I was too goo-goo eyed over Isaac's adorable face. The timing wasn't right. But now that they're roommates... I sent Isaac a text saying, "Your new roommate Liam. Dibs." Isaac's response: "Do it!" Oh yes, I think I will. Well, maybe I won't try for it, but I'll at least put myself out there and flirt with him. I went over to their apartment this afternoon to bring something to Isaac and while he and I were talking about our breaks Liam occasionally chimed in. Dude, on top of a great exterior, Liam has a lot of things going for him. He's funny! And his voice is deliciously deep, like rich purple velvet. I want to wrap up in it.
Liam. I want that mouth on my mouth.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Greetings from Vacation!
Whilst lounging on the beach and perusing the interwebs today I came across an article called Why You Are Wrong For Me which I find to be both fabulous and empowering. The author, Kat George, starts off by listing off reasons she and the receiver of the article are right for each other. The turning point comes when she says, "I could go on but I don't want to bore you . . . I shouldn't have to convince you."
The rest of the article talks about why he is wrong for her and I feel like she's writing the words I haven't been able to find. It's great. And you know what? It makes me feel okay with the relationships I've been in, or even the ones that haven't even happened despite wanting them, because it makes me realize that those guys were all wrong for me. I shouldn't have to convince him. Kat said it best: "If you were right for me we'd already be together, because that's what happens when people are right for each other."
Happy last few days of Spring Break, everyone! I look like a tomato, but it burns so good.
The rest of the article talks about why he is wrong for her and I feel like she's writing the words I haven't been able to find. It's great. And you know what? It makes me feel okay with the relationships I've been in, or even the ones that haven't even happened despite wanting them, because it makes me realize that those guys were all wrong for me. I shouldn't have to convince him. Kat said it best: "If you were right for me we'd already be together, because that's what happens when people are right for each other."
Happy last few days of Spring Break, everyone! I look like a tomato, but it burns so good.
Friday, April 12, 2013
End of the semester message
As much as I hate white glove, I'd rather get on my hands and knees and scrub the toilet bowl until it sparkles than spend $35 to have Idaho White Glove cleaning crew half-ass the job. One time I moved into an apartment where the previous tenants had paid to have Idaho White Glove clean it and I was greeted by moldy veggies and juice stains in the fridge, dead bugs on every windowsill and a DIRTY SOCK (and a ton of huge crumbs) in a kitchen drawer.
My parents raised me to know how to clean. I don't care if my hands become completely leatherized and dried out beyond oblivion from cleaning products, my apartment will SHINE at the end of white glove.
SUCK IT, IDAHO WHITE GLOVE. You're expensive and you do a crappy job.
I'm going to California for the break between semesters. I'm going to soak in the sunshine and warm weather. See you in a week, Rexburg!
My parents raised me to know how to clean. I don't care if my hands become completely leatherized and dried out beyond oblivion from cleaning products, my apartment will SHINE at the end of white glove.
SUCK IT, IDAHO WHITE GLOVE. You're expensive and you do a crappy job.
I'm going to California for the break between semesters. I'm going to soak in the sunshine and warm weather. See you in a week, Rexburg!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Why I've Sworn Off Dating
Bad news for you guys: I've sworn off dating for the rest of my time at BYU-Idaho. I'll try and keep the blog lively, but I can't say I'm going to seek out dates or men to be interested in. "Why's that, Leslie?" You might ask. I'll tell you why.
I graduate in July. I am ONE semester away from being free from Rexburg. Don't get me wrong, I love Rexburg and BYU-Idaho, but after being here for as long as I have, I'm ready to leave this place. I'm ready to GTFO! I'm 23, okay? There are too many boys at this school who just want to play the field and not commit to anything real. Also, there are too many fresh off the mission RMs. And tools. And short dudes. The list goes on. Sorry if I offend, men, it's just what I've observed.
Besides, what happens if I start dating a guy at BYU-Idaho before July? I'll tell you what'll happen: We'll date. We'll fall in love. We'll get married and I'll be stuck in Rexburg FOREVER. Or just another year or two, but that's a year or two TOO LONG.
Can't do it. Nope.
Here's my game plan for the next semester: Flirt, date if asked out, live life to the fullest, maybe make out with someone if the opportunity presents itself and I'm feeling it. Goal for next semester: Don't fall in love. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!
I graduate in July. I am ONE semester away from being free from Rexburg. Don't get me wrong, I love Rexburg and BYU-Idaho, but after being here for as long as I have, I'm ready to leave this place. I'm ready to GTFO! I'm 23, okay? There are too many boys at this school who just want to play the field and not commit to anything real. Also, there are too many fresh off the mission RMs. And tools. And short dudes. The list goes on. Sorry if I offend, men, it's just what I've observed.
Besides, what happens if I start dating a guy at BYU-Idaho before July? I'll tell you what'll happen: We'll date. We'll fall in love. We'll get married and I'll be stuck in Rexburg FOREVER. Or just another year or two, but that's a year or two TOO LONG.
Can't do it. Nope.
Here's my game plan for the next semester: Flirt, date if asked out, live life to the fullest, maybe make out with someone if the opportunity presents itself and I'm feeling it. Goal for next semester: Don't fall in love. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!
And you know what? I'M OKAY WITH MY COUCH AND NETFLIX
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Conference: My Thoughts
You know that moment during General Conference when the Spirit seems to be telling the speaker the exact words you need to hear? For me, that moment came with pretty much ALL of President Uchtdorf's talk about the healing power of the light of Christ.
The past six months have been critical in my growth and development and, ultimately, my preparation for the rest of my life. I've experienced a myriad of trials, some of which were the darkest periods of my life. President Uchtdorf acknowledged that these times come into every life, as we're all here to experience mortality and part of mortality is darkness and trials. At one point in his talk he said that the light of Christ can penetrate any darkness. There is hope in any trial, in any depth of darkness, no matter how bleak things become.
President Uchtdorf's was the boost of hope that I needed. It was the reminder of God's love for his children, a reminder that we are not alone, a reminder that things get better if we turn to him, no matter where we are. His words resonate with me, filling my soul with light and hope and a reinvigorated desire to turn to him more often. It is so easy to feel bogged down by life and darkness. It is so easy to think pessimistically. Despite all of that, despite that it's so easy to be discourage, the light and truth of the Gospel is there. Christ wants to suround us in the hope of the Gospel. He wants to warm us with hope. He wants to invade our dark times with light that is undeniable, that will bring happiness, that will lighten our burdens.
Such a great talk. I can't wait until the transcript is online.
Also, just heard from Elder Holland. THAT.WAS.AWESOME.
I love this Church. I love my Savior. I love you.
The past six months have been critical in my growth and development and, ultimately, my preparation for the rest of my life. I've experienced a myriad of trials, some of which were the darkest periods of my life. President Uchtdorf acknowledged that these times come into every life, as we're all here to experience mortality and part of mortality is darkness and trials. At one point in his talk he said that the light of Christ can penetrate any darkness. There is hope in any trial, in any depth of darkness, no matter how bleak things become.
President Uchtdorf's was the boost of hope that I needed. It was the reminder of God's love for his children, a reminder that we are not alone, a reminder that things get better if we turn to him, no matter where we are. His words resonate with me, filling my soul with light and hope and a reinvigorated desire to turn to him more often. It is so easy to feel bogged down by life and darkness. It is so easy to think pessimistically. Despite all of that, despite that it's so easy to be discourage, the light and truth of the Gospel is there. Christ wants to suround us in the hope of the Gospel. He wants to warm us with hope. He wants to invade our dark times with light that is undeniable, that will bring happiness, that will lighten our burdens.
Such a great talk. I can't wait until the transcript is online.
Also, just heard from Elder Holland. THAT.WAS.AWESOME.
I love this Church. I love my Savior. I love you.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
A Tiny Flame
Here's the post where I say DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME.
I have an iPhone.
I downloaded the Tinder when it first started getting really popular.
I sometimes get on it for an ego boost, even though it's so shallow and frivolous.
The ONLY people I've instigated conversation with on Tinder have been guys I already know and it's been purely to make fun of the app. That doesn't mean guys haven't messaged me, though.
One guy in particular has been really persistent. Tim started out just messaging me asking simple questions but then he got progressively more flirty. Tinder tells you what friends you have in common on facebook and one of our mutual friends was Sammie, so I inquired. "Oooh, watch out for him," She told me, "He's the kind of guy who takes you on one date and then thinks you're soulmates." For this reason alone I made him wait weeks before getting my phone number.
I'm such a wimp, you guys. I have a really hard time saying no and shutting guys down, even when I'm not interested. I mean, with Sam I've had to give him the complete cold shoulder in order to get him to get the picture that I don't want to date him. Tim was persistent in asking me out on a date, even when I was wildly busy two weeks in a row. I was legitimately busy, not made up excuses busy. Finally when I was free, he didn't even wait until the weekend. No, he arranged for a Tuesday night date.
I was a little nervous. Sammie had adequately scared me into thinking that Tim was weird and overbearing. From our conversations I got that he was surprisingly confident and a little cocky, but I wasn't completely put off. However, he's one of those guys that asks really bold questions (IE: Are you interested in me? Can i send you shirtless pictures?) and that's a little off putting, especially when you haven't actually met me. C'mon, bro. Have some class. I had class going on this date. I dressed it up with a cute spring skirt and cardigan duo, paired with some cute high heels. Maybe it's just because I had a ton of time that day to get ready, but dang I looked good.
When he knocked on the door I opened it and immediately regretted my decision to wear high heels. I towered over Tim. Like, a good four inches taller than him. Normally with friends who come to me complaining about guys being shorter than them I'd say, "It's not a huge deal, especially because I was wearing 2.5 inch heels. That's not a big height difference" but I'm 5'2. Even without my high heels on I would be taller than Tim. TALLER THAN HIM AT FIVE FOOT TWO. That's a short dude.
"Maybe it'll be really fun and it won't matter!" I thought. Truthfully, the date itself wasn't bad. We had a lot of fun and the conversation wasn't bad. Tim is definitely less awkward in person than he is over text messaging. For the he was a gentleman, but I think he wasn't expecting to open my car door when we arrived at the resturaunt. I just sat there and waited for him to get out of the car. I'm a traditionalist; I want doors opened for me. Eventually he got it and he opened the door for me. Thanks, Tim. What a champ.
Overall the date was unremarkable. Neither stellar nor terrible. I just couldn't get over how short he was! I knew I wouldn't go on a second date. Sorry, but I can't date a guy who's shorter than me. Too short, man. Too short.
I have an iPhone.
I downloaded the Tinder when it first started getting really popular.
I sometimes get on it for an ego boost, even though it's so shallow and frivolous.
The ONLY people I've instigated conversation with on Tinder have been guys I already know and it's been purely to make fun of the app. That doesn't mean guys haven't messaged me, though.
One guy in particular has been really persistent. Tim started out just messaging me asking simple questions but then he got progressively more flirty. Tinder tells you what friends you have in common on facebook and one of our mutual friends was Sammie, so I inquired. "Oooh, watch out for him," She told me, "He's the kind of guy who takes you on one date and then thinks you're soulmates." For this reason alone I made him wait weeks before getting my phone number.
I'm such a wimp, you guys. I have a really hard time saying no and shutting guys down, even when I'm not interested. I mean, with Sam I've had to give him the complete cold shoulder in order to get him to get the picture that I don't want to date him. Tim was persistent in asking me out on a date, even when I was wildly busy two weeks in a row. I was legitimately busy, not made up excuses busy. Finally when I was free, he didn't even wait until the weekend. No, he arranged for a Tuesday night date.
I was a little nervous. Sammie had adequately scared me into thinking that Tim was weird and overbearing. From our conversations I got that he was surprisingly confident and a little cocky, but I wasn't completely put off. However, he's one of those guys that asks really bold questions (IE: Are you interested in me? Can i send you shirtless pictures?) and that's a little off putting, especially when you haven't actually met me. C'mon, bro. Have some class. I had class going on this date. I dressed it up with a cute spring skirt and cardigan duo, paired with some cute high heels. Maybe it's just because I had a ton of time that day to get ready, but dang I looked good.
When he knocked on the door I opened it and immediately regretted my decision to wear high heels. I towered over Tim. Like, a good four inches taller than him. Normally with friends who come to me complaining about guys being shorter than them I'd say, "It's not a huge deal, especially because I was wearing 2.5 inch heels. That's not a big height difference" but I'm 5'2. Even without my high heels on I would be taller than Tim. TALLER THAN HIM AT FIVE FOOT TWO. That's a short dude.
"Maybe it'll be really fun and it won't matter!" I thought. Truthfully, the date itself wasn't bad. We had a lot of fun and the conversation wasn't bad. Tim is definitely less awkward in person than he is over text messaging. For the he was a gentleman, but I think he wasn't expecting to open my car door when we arrived at the resturaunt. I just sat there and waited for him to get out of the car. I'm a traditionalist; I want doors opened for me. Eventually he got it and he opened the door for me. Thanks, Tim. What a champ.
Overall the date was unremarkable. Neither stellar nor terrible. I just couldn't get over how short he was! I knew I wouldn't go on a second date. Sorry, but I can't date a guy who's shorter than me. Too short, man. Too short.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The Real Story
Gotcha!
Not engaged, not even remotely close. I had fun typing up that post, though. I figured more of you would have called me out. At least one person told me to run away. You guys really think Kirk is worth it? Hardly.
What really happened yesterday? I saw Kirk on campus twice. We walked by each other outside and then again in the library. Both times I knew I wasn't going to stop him, but after the second time I was furious. He had glanced at me and smiled and that just pissed me off. He has no right to think he can use and drop me the way he did and then look at me and smile.
Not EVER.
Now, I admit that I was filled with this sense of 'I cannot be beat' and 'He needs to know how horrible he is' so I whipped out my phone and sent a text. I acknowledged that I'd seen him both times and I told him that I thought the way he treated me was awful. He didn't respond until I had already gone to sleep that night. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the text and I couldn't fall back asleep until I responded. His response infuriated me.
See what I mean? If I had a dollar for every time Kirk said he was sorry to me, I would be a pretty rich woman. He's said it so much without actually putting any action or sense of remorse behind the word that it's become meaningless. The things he says are truly empty. If he were to act on his words, then maybe I would have come to believe him. But no, he just says things and stays the same awful person. What does "animal" even mean? Why use quotation marks? I don't get it.
That's what really happened with Kirk. It was petty of me to send that text, it was me trying to stir things of the past up. I have a little bit of regret when I look at that, but at the same time I also feel pretty proud of myself for telling him what I really think of him. He graduates this semester and I'll be pretty glad he'll be gone forever, without any chance of running into him on campus again.
I just want to be able to let it go completely. It's exhausting to keep revisiting the past.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Don't Wake Me From This Dream
For those of you who don't follow my twitter account you don't know that last night I got a most unexpected phone call. Kirk called. He said he made a big mistake. He misses me. He got scared ad bolted. He didn't know how to explain what he felt, but he wanted a chance to explain it now that he'd had some time to think about it and process it and get his ducks in a row.
Today I decided to wing it and go out to lunch with him just to hear him out and boy was I in for a surprise. He picked me up at the round about by the MC, getting out of the car with a giant boquet of red roses. Now, I haven't gotten flowers from a guy in quite some time. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, my mouth was hanging open, and my heart was racing a million miles a minute. All that was going through my head was, "WTF IS GOING ON HERE?" He smiled and handed me the roses, telling me they were for me. He hugged me awkwardly, because hugging with two dozen roses in your arms is difficult. He opened the car door, helped me in, and then we were off to get something to eat, or so I thought. Instead of taking me out to Costa Vida, which was the plan we made last night, he drove me to Smith Park.
Kirk had packed a picnic lunch and brought a blanket. We sat in the beautiful sunshine and ate and talked. Some of it was a littl heated, considering how upset I have been with his treatement of me and he kept saying how sorry he was, how he never meant to hurt me. It was all such a blur, I can't even remember the specifics from our conversation.
Then he told me to stand up. I was confused, mind full of all of his apologies, heart tired from this rollercoaster and he ws demanding I stand up. I stood up and all of the sudden Kirk was on one knee in front of me, reaching out for my hand. My heart jumped up into my throat and somehow I managed to say, "Kirk, what are you doing?" The next thing I knew, he was pulling out a little blue box, opening it. "Leslie," he said, "Leslie, I know I've hurt you. I know I've done stupid things, I've been an idiot. I can't tell you how sorry I am, I can't take it back. I'm in love with you. Marry me, Leslie."
You guys.
I'm engaged!
Edit:: Here's the ring! Don't mind my shoddy nail polish.
Today I decided to wing it and go out to lunch with him just to hear him out and boy was I in for a surprise. He picked me up at the round about by the MC, getting out of the car with a giant boquet of red roses. Now, I haven't gotten flowers from a guy in quite some time. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, my mouth was hanging open, and my heart was racing a million miles a minute. All that was going through my head was, "WTF IS GOING ON HERE?" He smiled and handed me the roses, telling me they were for me. He hugged me awkwardly, because hugging with two dozen roses in your arms is difficult. He opened the car door, helped me in, and then we were off to get something to eat, or so I thought. Instead of taking me out to Costa Vida, which was the plan we made last night, he drove me to Smith Park.
Kirk had packed a picnic lunch and brought a blanket. We sat in the beautiful sunshine and ate and talked. Some of it was a littl heated, considering how upset I have been with his treatement of me and he kept saying how sorry he was, how he never meant to hurt me. It was all such a blur, I can't even remember the specifics from our conversation.
Then he told me to stand up. I was confused, mind full of all of his apologies, heart tired from this rollercoaster and he ws demanding I stand up. I stood up and all of the sudden Kirk was on one knee in front of me, reaching out for my hand. My heart jumped up into my throat and somehow I managed to say, "Kirk, what are you doing?" The next thing I knew, he was pulling out a little blue box, opening it. "Leslie," he said, "Leslie, I know I've hurt you. I know I've done stupid things, I've been an idiot. I can't tell you how sorry I am, I can't take it back. I'm in love with you. Marry me, Leslie."
You guys.
I'm engaged!
Edit:: Here's the ring! Don't mind my shoddy nail polish.