Step One in Finding Love

What is the first step to finding the love of your life?

In my research on the topic, I've found a few different theories on what that big first step is such as "believe in it" or even "take a deep breath and let yourself fall in love."  Although these are good ideas, I don't think either of them are the real first step in finding love.  No, the first step is something that takes a lot of time, that is personal and essential.  In order to fall in love with someone else, you must first learn how to love and accept yourself.

We're not talking narcissistic love, we're talking about learning how to appreciate yourself, be confident, accept that you have insecurities and move forward.  Ever since Kirk and I broke up, I've been trying to appreciate myself more and realize what I deserve and what I can do on my own, without a guy there with me.  Through this experience I've realized that I've spent too much time trying to allow someone else to complete me.

My parents have taught me to be independent and self sufficient.  My mom did her best to enstill the idea in my head that I don't have to have a man in my life to be able to be sucessful and that getting married and having a family, although it's important, isn't my only goal in life.  She taught me to find something I'm passionate about, to study it, to perfect it, to come up with a plan to make something of myself.  I've been working on that and I'm proud to say that as soon as I graduate, I'll be ready to get out into the world and make myself known.  I have a passion and I'm good at it.  It has nothing to do with men, it has nothing to do with my love life.  It's purely something I do for myself.  It's so fulfilling, you have no idea.  It give me drive to get through school to know that I'm spending money on, not only my education, but my future.  My self worth is through the roof right now.

Something else I've learned about myself this past semester:  I can do hard things.  To say the Lord has thrown me a few huge stumbling blocks recently would be putting it lightly.  This past semester was the most difficult semester of my entire life.  If something bad was going to happen, it happened.  But I made it!  Not only did I make it, but I made it out on top, still smiling, loving life every day.  I feel awesome about where I am now and what I've made it through.  I feel better prepared for my future as an individual and my future as a wife and mother.

So while I've had some rough things thrown my way, I think I've learned to love myself a little more, to appreciate what I can do, what I love, and better understand what I deserve in life.  The Lord has a funny way of working.

Love yourself a little more this Christmas season.  You can't truly love someone else until you know how great you are and what you deserve.  Once you see it in yourself, you can go and share what you have to give with someone who will give all they can to you.