All girls have a little crazy in them

"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree"

W. C. Fields

It's a fact of life: all females have a little crazy in them.  We've been built to have constant fluctuation of hormones, meaning the crazy could come bursting out at any moment.  We cry, we are passionate, we get angry of petty things, and we definitely over think nearly everything that crosses our path.  

I've found myself in a quandary.  Everything with Kirk thus far has been roses and daisies, so much to the fact that when I'm with him I have to take the time to repeat in my head, "Leslie, this is real.  Kirk is real and he's really here with you, wanting to hold you and be with you.  IT'S REAL!!!!"  It's crazy, I tell you, just how amazing this whole summer has been.  I was telling a friend about how Kirk and I met and came to be and she said, "Oh my gosh, Leslie.  This sounds like something straight out of a movie.  I want to live your life!" I'm not sure she wants to live my life, since this is only one summer, but it is pretty great.

Except that Kirk isn't a texter.  He's very much an in-person kind of person.  He'll text me a bit and we'll exchange light conversation, but he's not the kind of guy who'll text me nonstop all the time just trying to talk to me more.  I've gotten kind of used to that treatment from other guys, but it's a little refreshing to have time that is just mine, not always hanging onto my phone waiting for a response.  

However, here is my quandary: these past few days I haven't heard much from Kirk at all.  He hasn't sent me texts asking how my day is going, nor asking if I'd like to see him that evening.  He hasn't responded to half the questions I've asked him.  He's all but disappeared since Sunday.  I'm trying really, really, really hard to not go into panic mode and overload him with crazy needy texts, but it's hard!  This is when my crazy comes out!

I'm too used to guys who are in the picture for x amount of time and then they bail, leaving me hanging for some sort of explanation as to why I don't deserve a proper let down.  I know Kirk is different.  I know he has a lot going on at work and with his family this week.  I know he's probably tired from traveling over the weekend.  These are perfectly legit excuses as to why I've hardly seen or heard from him, I know that!  But is it really too hard to say you're busy or going to bed early?  A text like that takes about fifteen seconds to write and send.  No big deal.  

Ugh.  I don't want to freak out.  I will not freak out.  I won't let myself believe he's like those other flakey guys I've dated.  I won't believe that he has an ounce of douche baggery in him until I have hard evidence, not just a few days of neglect.  

I'm still a little bit crazy. Thanks for reading my venting rant.