I have a bone to pick with this phrase. I've heard it used in relation to so many relationships that I'm starting to believe I'm friends with some pretty naive people. I don't think anything is really meant to be in the sense that this phrase seems to insinuate.
According to this philosophy, if two people are meant to be with one another, no matter what they do, fate will align their paths so that they end up with one another. If it's meant to be, there's not really anything you can do except live your life and see whether or not it separates you for good or makes the relationship last. Meant to be is another way of saying that the two of you are destined for each other. You are each others soul mate.
I don't believe in soul mates, destiny, or fate. I believe that each of us have a path-we're talking strictly about dating and marriage, here, I don't have time to get into my whole philosophy of life-that each one of us are probably going to take, but the decisions still remain ours. For example, the Lord knew I would probably choose BYU-Idaho, but he made sure that it was my choice to go here rather than BYU or another university in California. If I had chosen to go to UCSB, I wouldn't know the people I know here and I most certainly wouldn't have the same dating pool there. Fate isn't what drove me here; I'm here of my own accord, my own decision to turn down other offers.
General authorities have said that there's no such thing as soul mates and that any righteous Latter-Day Saint woman would be able to make a marriage work with any righteous Latter-Day Saint man. I believe that there are people with whom a marriage would work better with, but that even if someone doesn't marry the better person, their marriage will still work. Elder Oaks' talk Good, Better, Best is a good reference for this theory. We don't have one person we're meant to be with, we have a plethora of people we'd be good with, better with, and best with. We'll end up with one of them and things will be fine, we just have to pick one and hope they also pick us.
I hope I'm making sense. I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how to articulate it properly.
In short, I don't believe there's such thing as meant to be, so it will work out situations. We make our own fate, guided by the help of God who knows what will be better for us.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the matter, so please comment!
FALSE! According to Leslie...
Nice post. I agree. I think that there are many people that we can have great marriages with, some better than others. I have always thought that the phrase "if it's meant to be, it will happen" meant that if we do all we can do and have put ourselves out there with someone then it will work out if it's suppose to or in other words if the other person is interested. I hope that makes sense. Just my opinion.
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