Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Have you seen this blog?
I stumbled across this blog about Mormon dating because I'm friends with Rexburg Social on Facebook. It's great! Sure, there are a few posts that I don't completely agree with (like this one) but overall I found it to be interesting and relevant. Check it out.
Monday, April 23, 2012
A continuation of Soul Mates and Fate
When I read back over my previous post about meant to be and the comment left by Roger, I realized that in my rush to finish the post before I had to leave home, I left out a whole section of analysis.
Most often I hear meant to be, so it will work out used in a passive sense, i.e. "I don't have to really try because if it's meant to be, it's going to happen no matter what." This is the attitude that frustrates me. This is what is called destiny or fate: things that are meant to be no matter what you do.
To me meant to be, so it will work out is an action phrase. If you haven't read Roger's comment, he said something that was one of my original thoughts, I just got sidetracked and neglected to include it. I like the way he phrased it when he said, "I have always thought that the phrase "if it's meant to be, it will happen" meant that if we do all we can do and have put ourselves out there with someone then it will work out if it's suppose to or in other words if the other person is interested." Yes, Roger, it makes sense. I might be stretching it a little, but it's kind of along the same lines as the grace of Christ. We have to do our part for things to happen. We're not meant to be a passive people, sitting back while we wait for life to happen to us. In order for the things that are meant to be to happen, we really ought to be proactive about being involved in those things. If we chose to sit on our butts and wait for Mr. Right to come into the picture, chances are he's not going to come.
Relationships don't just happen. They require effort on both parts. Take for instance, my relationship (or lack thereof) with Nate. It's no secret that I'm really into him, he'd have to be oblivious to miss the signs. I've done my part to engage in conversation, to invite him out to activities (but never on a date; that's the mans job), to be around him, and the flirt shamelessly with him. Unfortunately I'm only part of the whole. Nate has be absentee from my life for almost two whole weeks. It's clear to me that the signs just aren't there. It's because of his absence and lack of proactivity that I've decided to just back away. It would be easy for me to say, "It simply wasn't meant to be," but in reality I don't think the possibility of he and I ever even crossed his mind, so meant to be was never even an option.
I don't want to waste my life waiting for someone to wake up and see that we're meant to be. I'd rather be proactive on my own, flirting a ton, expressing interest, and moving on if nothing comes from it. Destiny and fate have nothing to do with who I end with.
Most often I hear meant to be, so it will work out used in a passive sense, i.e. "I don't have to really try because if it's meant to be, it's going to happen no matter what." This is the attitude that frustrates me. This is what is called destiny or fate: things that are meant to be no matter what you do.
To me meant to be, so it will work out is an action phrase. If you haven't read Roger's comment, he said something that was one of my original thoughts, I just got sidetracked and neglected to include it. I like the way he phrased it when he said, "I have always thought that the phrase "if it's meant to be, it will happen" meant that if we do all we can do and have put ourselves out there with someone then it will work out if it's suppose to or in other words if the other person is interested." Yes, Roger, it makes sense. I might be stretching it a little, but it's kind of along the same lines as the grace of Christ. We have to do our part for things to happen. We're not meant to be a passive people, sitting back while we wait for life to happen to us. In order for the things that are meant to be to happen, we really ought to be proactive about being involved in those things. If we chose to sit on our butts and wait for Mr. Right to come into the picture, chances are he's not going to come.
Relationships don't just happen. They require effort on both parts. Take for instance, my relationship (or lack thereof) with Nate. It's no secret that I'm really into him, he'd have to be oblivious to miss the signs. I've done my part to engage in conversation, to invite him out to activities (but never on a date; that's the mans job), to be around him, and the flirt shamelessly with him. Unfortunately I'm only part of the whole. Nate has be absentee from my life for almost two whole weeks. It's clear to me that the signs just aren't there. It's because of his absence and lack of proactivity that I've decided to just back away. It would be easy for me to say, "It simply wasn't meant to be," but in reality I don't think the possibility of he and I ever even crossed his mind, so meant to be was never even an option.
I don't want to waste my life waiting for someone to wake up and see that we're meant to be. I'd rather be proactive on my own, flirting a ton, expressing interest, and moving on if nothing comes from it. Destiny and fate have nothing to do with who I end with.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Soul Mates and Fate
If it's meant to be, it'll work out.
I have a bone to pick with this phrase. I've heard it used in relation to so many relationships that I'm starting to believe I'm friends with some pretty naive people. I don't think anything is really meant to be in the sense that this phrase seems to insinuate.
According to this philosophy, if two people are meant to be with one another, no matter what they do, fate will align their paths so that they end up with one another. If it's meant to be, there's not really anything you can do except live your life and see whether or not it separates you for good or makes the relationship last. Meant to be is another way of saying that the two of you are destined for each other. You are each others soul mate.
I don't believe in soul mates, destiny, or fate. I believe that each of us have a path-we're talking strictly about dating and marriage, here, I don't have time to get into my whole philosophy of life-that each one of us are probably going to take, but the decisions still remain ours. For example, the Lord knew I would probably choose BYU-Idaho, but he made sure that it was my choice to go here rather than BYU or another university in California. If I had chosen to go to UCSB, I wouldn't know the people I know here and I most certainly wouldn't have the same dating pool there. Fate isn't what drove me here; I'm here of my own accord, my own decision to turn down other offers.
General authorities have said that there's no such thing as soul mates and that any righteous Latter-Day Saint woman would be able to make a marriage work with any righteous Latter-Day Saint man. I believe that there are people with whom a marriage would work better with, but that even if someone doesn't marry the better person, their marriage will still work. Elder Oaks' talk Good, Better, Best is a good reference for this theory. We don't have one person we're meant to be with, we have a plethora of people we'd be good with, better with, and best with. We'll end up with one of them and things will be fine, we just have to pick one and hope they also pick us.
I hope I'm making sense. I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how to articulate it properly.
In short, I don't believe there's such thing as meant to be, so it will work out situations. We make our own fate, guided by the help of God who knows what will be better for us.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the matter, so please comment!
I have a bone to pick with this phrase. I've heard it used in relation to so many relationships that I'm starting to believe I'm friends with some pretty naive people. I don't think anything is really meant to be in the sense that this phrase seems to insinuate.
According to this philosophy, if two people are meant to be with one another, no matter what they do, fate will align their paths so that they end up with one another. If it's meant to be, there's not really anything you can do except live your life and see whether or not it separates you for good or makes the relationship last. Meant to be is another way of saying that the two of you are destined for each other. You are each others soul mate.
I don't believe in soul mates, destiny, or fate. I believe that each of us have a path-we're talking strictly about dating and marriage, here, I don't have time to get into my whole philosophy of life-that each one of us are probably going to take, but the decisions still remain ours. For example, the Lord knew I would probably choose BYU-Idaho, but he made sure that it was my choice to go here rather than BYU or another university in California. If I had chosen to go to UCSB, I wouldn't know the people I know here and I most certainly wouldn't have the same dating pool there. Fate isn't what drove me here; I'm here of my own accord, my own decision to turn down other offers.
General authorities have said that there's no such thing as soul mates and that any righteous Latter-Day Saint woman would be able to make a marriage work with any righteous Latter-Day Saint man. I believe that there are people with whom a marriage would work better with, but that even if someone doesn't marry the better person, their marriage will still work. Elder Oaks' talk Good, Better, Best is a good reference for this theory. We don't have one person we're meant to be with, we have a plethora of people we'd be good with, better with, and best with. We'll end up with one of them and things will be fine, we just have to pick one and hope they also pick us.
I hope I'm making sense. I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how to articulate it properly.
In short, I don't believe there's such thing as meant to be, so it will work out situations. We make our own fate, guided by the help of God who knows what will be better for us.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the matter, so please comment!
FALSE! According to Leslie...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
BYU I do
Out of nowhere, Nate has disappeared. I don't know whether it's just because he's busy with the new semester, but he is literally MIA. No facebook activity, no response to texts, nothing. I don't want to take it personally, but it's super out of character for him. Oh well, if he wants me, he can come get me.
Here are a few things I've been hearing recently about the people at BYUI:
I know plenty of girls who go on tons of dates and have boys who want to date them, but they, for whatever reason, have a strong aversion to actually picking a guy and sticking with him. What gives, ladies? We complain all the time that none of the guys here at BYUI want to date us when, in reality, we're not dating the ones that want to commit, so why should they commit to us?
Here are a few things I've been hearing recently about the people at BYUI:
- The guys are too afraid of commitment
- The girls are too easy
- Hanging out is ruining dating (Did anyone listen to President Clarke's devo talk today?)
- Dating is too overrated
I know plenty of girls who go on tons of dates and have boys who want to date them, but they, for whatever reason, have a strong aversion to actually picking a guy and sticking with him. What gives, ladies? We complain all the time that none of the guys here at BYUI want to date us when, in reality, we're not dating the ones that want to commit, so why should they commit to us?
At the same time, I feel as though the girls here that do allow themselves to be easy pickings for NCMOs and no strings attached cuddle sessions are the girls that think that's the only way to get a guy interested. From observation, the girls that put out, so to speak, are the ones that go on more dates simply because they are willing to be easy. I don't necessarily believe that's the girl's fault, since it's the boys that continue to ask these skanks out all the time, thus continuing the cycle of easy, not committed girls. Gah! It's SUCH A MESS.
Boys! Start being gentlemen and don't try to get in our pants so quick! Ask girls out on dates, treat us like ladies, pursue the one girl you're really interested in, ask her to be your girlfriend, and then kiss and cuddle with her.
Girls, stop being commitment-phobes and give these decent guys a chance! Whining that you don't have a boyfriend and that the boys are lazy isn't going to get you anywhere. Boys don't want to date whiners (boys, am I right? Whining is unattractive.) Don't be easy, make the guy work. After all, the chase is one of the best parts of a relationship.
On dating and hanging out....well, Elder Oaks probably put it best in his CES fireside called Dating verses Hanging Out (quoted in today's devotional) so ya'll should take a moment to read that. It's a great talk. The segment in there where he talks about what a date should be (inexpensive and non threatening) is something that I think ties into dating being overrated. Dating shouldn't be a grand, long process. It should be simple and happen naturally. As a culture we've turned dating into this big ordeal where the guy has to be super creative with the asking out and the date, while the girl thinks it's practically a marriage proposal. It's ruining what dating should be.
I could go on forever, but I will refrain.
Hit me up on Twitter if there's something specific you want me to blog about. I love hearing from you guys!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Weekend Get Away
Oregon. I love it. I love the trees, the rivers, everything. I would move there in an instant. True, California holds my heart, but I'm not afraid to try something different. I love the feeling of cold, crisp, clean air. I love the look of snow blanketing the ground. Well, except when it's in Rexburg. I don't love snow in Rexburg.
I know, I know, you're all probably wondering what happened with Nate over the weekend. I'm going to be completely honest, not much happened. I was a little disappointed, mostly because I didn't really know the other people who were there, so I felt a little bit on the outs and was more reserved than I usually am. No big breakthrough with Nate, no snuggling on the couch while watching movies with his family. We played games, we ate a ton of food, and we went on a few hikes.
It was a really nice weekend, despite it's lack of spark. It was simply nice to get away from Rexburg and see something different. Most of all, it was nice to meet Nate's family. His mom and I are very similar. Instead of playing some games with the other kids who showed up (and while Nate was out running errands) she and I spent some time talking about school and traveling. I asked her to share a recipe with me and she insisted that we become friends on the good ol' FB. Foot in the door with the family? Yes, I think so.
My friends keep asking me when I'm going to start dating Nate. I can't give them any sort of answer because I don't know how he feels, if he feels anything at all. He might just be a nice guy, instead of someone who's remotely interested and flirts on purpose. I have no idea. It's driving me crazy.
Dear Spring Semester: please. allow something to happen. Thanks, Leslie.
I know, I know, you're all probably wondering what happened with Nate over the weekend. I'm going to be completely honest, not much happened. I was a little disappointed, mostly because I didn't really know the other people who were there, so I felt a little bit on the outs and was more reserved than I usually am. No big breakthrough with Nate, no snuggling on the couch while watching movies with his family. We played games, we ate a ton of food, and we went on a few hikes.
It was a really nice weekend, despite it's lack of spark. It was simply nice to get away from Rexburg and see something different. Most of all, it was nice to meet Nate's family. His mom and I are very similar. Instead of playing some games with the other kids who showed up (and while Nate was out running errands) she and I spent some time talking about school and traveling. I asked her to share a recipe with me and she insisted that we become friends on the good ol' FB. Foot in the door with the family? Yes, I think so.
My friends keep asking me when I'm going to start dating Nate. I can't give them any sort of answer because I don't know how he feels, if he feels anything at all. He might just be a nice guy, instead of someone who's remotely interested and flirts on purpose. I have no idea. It's driving me crazy.
Dear Spring Semester: please. allow something to happen. Thanks, Leslie.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Spring Break Snow Storm
It's Friday of finals week, which is usually the day everyone finishes up their tests, cleaning, and packing then they GTFO of Rexburg.
If you don't live in Rexburg, then you wouldn't know that it snowed 2 inches last night. You wouldn't know that I've been wearing shorts and t-shirts and have been driving with all the windows down all week. You wouldn't know that I went sunbathing in my front yard a couple days ago.
Now we're all buried under several inches of snow. Lucky me, my snow clothes are in the trunk of my car, currently hidden underneath all the snow! I'M PISSED. I was looking forward to warm weather and a safe drive to Oregon. I'm not so sure if driving to Oregon is really a good idea, considering the weather. Snow and wind all night long.
UGH.
If you don't live in Rexburg, then you wouldn't know that it snowed 2 inches last night. You wouldn't know that I've been wearing shorts and t-shirts and have been driving with all the windows down all week. You wouldn't know that I went sunbathing in my front yard a couple days ago.
Now we're all buried under several inches of snow. Lucky me, my snow clothes are in the trunk of my car, currently hidden underneath all the snow! I'M PISSED. I was looking forward to warm weather and a safe drive to Oregon. I'm not so sure if driving to Oregon is really a good idea, considering the weather. Snow and wind all night long.
UGH.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Finals
Finals week. Kill me now.
I hate tests, especially vocabulary tests. Who needs to know this shiz when we all have google at our fingertips 24/7? It's like when they told you in high school that you needed to solve math problems on paper because, "You won't always be carrying around a calculator." Looks like teachers weren't expecting smart phones to be so smart. But hey, guess what! I've even got a scientific calculator on my phone. SUCK ON THAT, MATH TEACHER! </rant>
Good luck on finals, dear readers. I'ma go get me some monsters and a 44 oz. soda from Horkley's Great Scott's and hope ilearn doesn't die tonight.
To my roommates:
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April Fools!
I was going to write a big, long April Fools post with some fabricated story about how Nate and I hung out all weekend and we ended up snuggling or maybe even kissing, but it was such a busy weekend that I never got around to it.
Truth is, I haven't really spent much time with Nate this weekend, despite having that be a goal of mine. He's been busy with finals prep and he's had other obligations. I've seen him pretty much every day, though. We've chatted in his doorway and visited briefly at a get together. Every time I think about him, I think my head is going to explode. My mom sent me a text today saying, "Are you dating someone?" To which I had to tell her no, but if she thought that based on what she saw on facebook (a huge influx of photos of me and Nate have surfaced), then I'll bet other people are beginning to wonder.
Biggest news of the weekend? I was at work, trying to make the time go faster by not checking my phone every two minutes, when I got a text from Nate. I didn't read it until I finished my shift, but now I can't stop thinking about it. He's invited me and a friend of ours, Marissa, to join a few people in going to his house in Oregon for Spring break. I can only go for a portion, since I have work obligations, but I'm going to go! No guy from BYUI has ever invited me to go to his house, regardless of how close his family lives. I'm not sure if there are other girls going, but I'm hoping it's just me and Marissa like it is at our dinner nights.
Stoked? Stoked. This could potentially be the best Spring break I've ever had.
p.s. I promise this isn't an April Fools joke :)
Truth is, I haven't really spent much time with Nate this weekend, despite having that be a goal of mine. He's been busy with finals prep and he's had other obligations. I've seen him pretty much every day, though. We've chatted in his doorway and visited briefly at a get together. Every time I think about him, I think my head is going to explode. My mom sent me a text today saying, "Are you dating someone?" To which I had to tell her no, but if she thought that based on what she saw on facebook (a huge influx of photos of me and Nate have surfaced), then I'll bet other people are beginning to wonder.
Biggest news of the weekend? I was at work, trying to make the time go faster by not checking my phone every two minutes, when I got a text from Nate. I didn't read it until I finished my shift, but now I can't stop thinking about it. He's invited me and a friend of ours, Marissa, to join a few people in going to his house in Oregon for Spring break. I can only go for a portion, since I have work obligations, but I'm going to go! No guy from BYUI has ever invited me to go to his house, regardless of how close his family lives. I'm not sure if there are other girls going, but I'm hoping it's just me and Marissa like it is at our dinner nights.
Stoked? Stoked. This could potentially be the best Spring break I've ever had.
p.s. I promise this isn't an April Fools joke :)