Last night before going to bed I was poking around on facebook, like everyone else and their grandma does. One thing led to another and I found myself looking at Tyson's page. I deleted him months ago, but I still occassionally stalk his only semi-private profile. He's got a picture of himself and the new girl up as his profile picture. That's new. He's grown a beard, despite hating facial hair before his mission.
I dreamed that I saw him at institute and he asked for my phone number. I felt angry and irritated and I was rude to him. I got up and stormed out of institute, only to return with hopes that I could see and talk to Tyson again. I looked around for him but realized he was already gone and I missed my opportunity to reconnect with him.
On top of waking up sick this morning, I was in a bad mood. I felt disgusted with myself for even dreaming regret about not being friends with Tyson. What's wrong with my subconscious self? I'm pretty sure there's a loose circut somewhere in there, because I know Tyson is no good. I know that he's a giant douche bag who doesn't deserve an ounce of my attention, my pity or even my forgiveness. I want to go back into my dream and slap myself around, yelling, "Pull yourself together! He broke your heart! Don't give him the satisfaction of crawling back to you and winning!" I really need to get over this. I need to move on.
I'm not sure if I know how yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment